Boyfriend hates his life ... maybe I hate his life too?

Dear Mr Bitter Guy, I need dating advice ...
I am a high school senior now. I have been with my boyfriend for almost three years. I really like him but he seems to always get mad or upset about something. He always complains about how he hates his life. I can't tell if I still love him or not. I care about him but I don't know if the spark is still there. I also feel obligated to the relationship because of the puppy we share and because all my stuff is at his place and I am too afraid of awkwardness to get it. I just would like some opinions on my situation.

Cyber affair leads to real-life problems?

Dear Mr Bitter Guy, I need dating advice ...
im 22 and my bf is 28 we had a cyber affair for a year without meeting he agreed to it 1st then after we met he liked the way i look and etc but after sumtime he said he hates me for not meeting him then we settled that then he asked me for sex i m from an asian country and we do not have sex till marriage so i said no but now he hates me for it i think he is having a mental problem what shall i do?

Call of nature?

Dear Mr Bitter Guy, I need dating advice ...

Ok...here is my question!

I live in Las Vegas and my girlfriend lives in Texas. What are your thoughts on calling during the day just to say hi and I miss you?? Shouldn't this be a natural thing to do for two people who are dating over a long distance?? Except for days when you are extremely busy but even then how much time does it take to pick up a cell phone??

Thanks!!!~Rob in Vegas!

Are we Boyfriend/girlfriend yet?

Ok well ive been seeing this guy for 2 months and i really like him and he apparently really likes me but just this past saturday he went to a grade 11 party and got really drunk not to sure if he tryed to do anything with anoher girl but someone said that he tryed and i want to know what do i say to him like cause i want to know if he likes me as much as i like him? But i just dont know how to ask him plus i want to know if we are more than just seeing eachother like are we offically boyfriend girfriend yet? Please help me i need some advice im dieing here!!!

Started dating best friend -- but he's soo cold

Dear Mr Bitter Guy, I need dating advice ...

After and 8 year friendship my best friend and I crossed the line and started dating. He is a best thing that has ever happened to me. The problem is he has Huge Trust Issues and is a bitter and angry man.

During the holiday season - I was running short on time - so I called to tell him I was on my way up to see him. I got to his house - he didn't answer the phone. I called again. Instead of just knocking to see if he was okay I dropped off his present and left.

I was mad he didn't answer the phone and short on time.

When he asked me if I knocked I said yes - knowing I hadn't and he caught me in the lie.

For this - it has been 2 months and he doesn't want to talk to me or see me. He said he can't ever Trust me again.

I apologized both in written format and in person. I forced myself in to his home last week. He was nice but cold. When I left he said have a nice life and leave me alone

Is there any hope

Ex-girlfriend's jealousy is making my life hell

Dear Mr Bitter Guy, I need dating advice ...

I kissed this guy i know from school but had never spoken to before last thursday and saturday when out at a club. On thursday we kissed once in the club and then all the way home in the taxi (he lives near me and there were others in the car too). Then on saturday, he arrived late, i didnt no he was coming, and he saw me and came over to me and we started talking. Then from about 11 till 1:30 we were together kissing, talking and mucking around, like singing all the corny songs that came on. I knew he used to go out with a girl in my year but i heard they broke up at christmas.

After saturday night, i heard that they had gotten together after that and they only broke up the saturday before. Now his ex is soo angry at me and has spoken to me twice both times shouting at me. Im not a shy person but i am quite quiet and i wasnt preapred for this. She said she cant shout at him as she has vowed never to talk to him again and she is now saying that they didnt break up the saturday before we kissed, they broke up the saturday after, but i no that this isnt true as he called her his ex when talking about her on thursday. She has called me a slut and shouted fuch u to me so many times today. And the second time we talked she threatened me saying that if i ever talk to him she will break my legs and if i ever have a thing with him she will smash my face against a wall. I know it sounds so immature and she probably is all talk but its reli getting to me and i normally don't let these things bother me.

Everyone is on my side saying that i am not in the wrong and her friends are so angry with her and have been comforting me and i no ive technically done nothin wrong cos i thought they'd been broken up for months but her shouting at me like that has reli, as ive said, got to me and i dont no wat to do.

I havent been able to talk to the guy since saturday as i've been away but now im not sure if i will or not, i reli like him we got on so well and seeing as we were only kissing and he didnt try anything else i no he's not looking for sex like the majority of guys are, but still can someone please tell me what to do? Do i stand up to her? Because i could give her attitude back but im not sure i want to, so far ive just let her shout and then let her no i didnt realise how recently they've broken up but she just says im talkin shit and she doesnt believe me. And what do i do about him?

Please help, this is really upsetting me!

Is this a one night stand or the start of a terrible relationship?

Hi Mr Bitter Guy,

I really would appreciate your help with a relationship problem.

I met this really great guy at new year. We started chatting, danced for a bit, celebrated the new year and before long the night was over. Me and my housemate lived only two streets away and he offered to walk us home. He ended up staying over that night although we didnt sleep together (we both agreed that we liked each other too much for it to turn into a one night stand).

He bought me breakfast the next day (New Years Day) and we ended up spending the whole day together and going back to his where we did then have sex.

For the next month we saw each other about once a week - he would invite me to his, cook us some dinner, watch some movies etc(which always resulted in us having sex), we text each other every few days and it was going great.

The thing is he was off work during that month so he had time to see me. However since he's been back at work we've only seen each other once or twice. In fact its now been nearly three weeks since I last saw him and when i text him he sometimes doesnt get back to me for a week at a time.

I have text him saying that i feel like my times being wasted and giving him the chance to either explain or break things off - he just replied that work had been really busy and that he'd had hardly any time off work and asked how i was.

Whilst i acknowledge that he has a very demanding job (he's a policeman) and that his work hours are sometimes unsociable i feel really ignored.

I really really do like this guy very much and he is a genuinely lovely person - but now i wonder whether he's giving me the brush off or whether it is genuinly just his job getting in the way.

I guess i have two questions here;

1. Were we ever really any more than a prolonged one night stand?

2. Is he now giving me the brush off or is it just that he's tied up with work and therefore maybe i should cut him a bit of slack?

Im sorry to have rambled on here (i feel better for it) but i am very confused and really need some good advice. I know your not psychic but from the info above... what do you think?

Thanks for your time.

Confused xx

Is my boyfriend into me?

Dear Bitter Guy,

I'm in a 7+ Month long distance relationship and I seem to have this nagging feeling that he's just not that into me which is further pointed out by my girls.

Scenario A:He said he was gonna be back in Feb but he never took the time to save for the flight and he tells me he wont be back and it made me feel slighted.

Scenario B:He, by some fluke timing has his grandma who's sick beckon all the children back so he's now back for a week but we only saw each other once and he spends the rest of his time with his friends. He's got 2 more days until he leaves the country.

Scenario 3:I text him and he never replies and we speak sporadically throughout the whole 7+ months.

Should I dump him and how? He's a lovely friend and I don't want to compromise any possible future platonic relationships with him. Although that may be wishful thinking.

Regards,

Slighted Female.

Should you spy on your partner?

Hi there,

I first have to say thanks to replying to my past question so fast and actually posting it up. thanks so much!

i was just wondering what your thoughts are on, keeping your "eye" on your partner?such as reading their emails, browsing through their phone calls, or even logging their chats? with or without them knowing.

i know it is a trust issue and is very disrespectful to invade their privacy. however, if i had not done so in my past relationship i think i would never have known his extent of cheating and betrayal. in my opinion, its good to trust who you love, in fact its crucial. but every now and then, you should check their mail, or log their chats for a week or two, just to ensure to yourself and them, that there is something worth trusting.

if you find out their loyal-great , you can breathe easy and love them more.

if you find out their disloyal, well its good you got to find out when you did, rather than continue on a few more years with this betrayal.

i was just wondering your views on this.

also, in the reverse situation, i would encourage my partner to check on me. if he felt suspicious i would be happy that he was satisfied that it was just him being silly, and that i am loyal. and if iwas starting to stray, id be hapy he caught me when he did, and i felt ashamed , and hopefully would rectify the situation , before it was too late.

Valentine's Day Gifts?

Dear Mr Bitter Guy,

I never really put my all into a relationship and never had that special feeling about a guy until i met my current boyfriend. I fell head over heels in love with him!

This will be our first valentines day together and my first "real valentine" I want it to be very special. I am a die hard romantic and love all that mushy stuff! i was thinking of sending a big teddybear with a box of chocolates and a balloon to his work on valentines day as part of his gift! Is that too corny?

i'm not sure how he'd react and i was jus looking for guys advice. also any additional advice about valentines day and presents would be appreciated!

Thank you!

Melissa

Mr Bitter Guy Says:

Mmmm. That'd be fun. I can only imagine his embarrassment when they arrive at work. All his collegues should have a blast ribbing him all day. As a guy though, I'd much rather get a CD or DVD or maybe a PS3 than a box of chocolates and a balloon. I mean, what am I gonna do with a teddybear anyway? I'd appreciate the sentiment for about 30 seconds before my friends started making fun ... and then I'd take it home and stuff it in a cupboard for the rest of eternity.

I'd want something I can play with. I'd handle the ridicule of the teddybear at work (it might even be something funny to talk about over dinner later) if there was something groovy to play with.

Boys need toys!

As for the rest of Valentine's Day, men are easy: A few beers, a nice meal, a good movie and a quick tumble are all winners.

The Answer Chick Says:

Aww, that's sweet. He's very lucky. I'm partly with Mr Bitter Guy though. How about something a bit personal to go with? Remember Valentine's day is about having fun. It's a special day to just think about your relationship and spend some good quality time together. It doesn't have to be serious nor commercialised, but it should reflect your own unique relationship.

Boyfriend's lack of drive frustrates girlfriend

Dear Mr Bitter Guy,

So I've beeen with my boyfriend for 8 months and he's beeeen amazing. But he's one of those guys that depends on his parents. We usuallly seee each other 4 or 5 days a weeeek and recently his parents toook his car away. So the only time I seee him now is the weeekend and now there even trying to take his weeekends away. I'm getttting so frustrated. I can't just seeem his once a weeek it hurts way tooo much. I've thought about this situation over and over and I have not came up with a solution. I'm at a dead end any advice?

Mr Bitter Guy Says:

Why'd they take his car away? He must have been a bad boy. I'd suggest you buy his car from his parents and then you can travel to him.

The Answer Chick Says:

I can see how this would be frustrating. Maybe you can find a way to travel to him during the week? If not I'd suggest that you ask him to talk to his parents. I'm assuming he had his car taken away as punishment for something, but if he explains that it's effecting his relationship with you, his parents may be able to come to some sort of compromise.

It sounds like you're both young, so remember one thing: if you want to be treated like an adult, you have to act like one. Be mature, reasonable and rational and hopefully his parents will do the same.

Are overweight females attractive?

Dear Mr Bitter Guy,

I am overweight- so i work hard on making sure i wear nice clothes- and ALWAYS do my hair and makeup before going out- I really do think I have a great personality- I know it is my weight that makes guys not attracted to me- and as hard as i try to exercise- and diet- i just feel like i need to find someone and be happy how i am right now- how do I do that as an overweight female?

Mr Bitter Guy Says:

Finding someone is easy. Finding the 'right' someone is the tricky thing.

It's like telesales. Everyone hates those people who phone you up in the middle of your favorite show trying to sell you new windows,but look at it from their point of view:

These people are hated by everyone, have to pitch their product to people who don't want to know and they're under pressure to make their sales quotas. They just don't give up.

But cold-calling must work or companies wouldn't do it.

The average telephone-marketeer will call 100 people before they'll even talk to someone who's vaguely interested. Out of those interested people, it'll take ten of them to find only one who's actually considering buying whatever product is being offered. And out of those, only one in three will actually purchase.

So to find 1 paying customer, 3,000 people need to be called.

So start phoning random men.

The Answer Chick says:

It seems that you're doing all the right things, and it's refreshing to see someone who's making the effort. It's unfortunate that overweight people get a bad rap in today's society, but it's still a sad fact of life that people who are overweight often get treated as second-class citizens -- especially by the opposite sex.

Presenting yourself well and making an effort to live healthily will get you to where you want to be. But it's a long road and sometimes it's difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Just keep on keeping on.

This doesn't, of course, help you with your current situation. I know Mr Bitter Guy has a bit of an odd skew on things, but at the core of things he's right. You may find it more difficult to find a partner being overweight but it's not by any means impossible and should only be a small factor in the scheme of things. Self confidence is the real key. Sexy people are people who believe they're sexy -- not neccessarily the ones graced with a perfect body or a perfect face.

So just believe in yourself and go out and meet people so you can find that special man.

Paranoid boyfriend ditches angry girlfriend

Dear Mr Bitter Guy,

I have a problem… I am 19 almost 20 and my boyfriend, well technically ex boyfriend is 26. We were together roughly a year now and we have defiantly had our share of ups and downs.

To start off, he is really paranoid and has crazy trust issues. He was hurt really bad in a previous relationship...that was like 3 years ago or something. So he doesn’t trust anyone including me. He goes through these like stages where he will be really great for a while and everything between us is fine to all the sudden saying that I did something or that something happened that didn’t.

Well, I went online and looked up paranoid disorder and all this stuff about trust issues and gave it to him, not sure if that was the best thing to do... But I mean I didn’t just throw it at him, I eased it.. So he looked at it and said that maybe he has some tendencies and would try and work on them.

Well, I’m not perfect either and have a bad habit of losing my temper when he accuses me of something I didn’t do. I cant prove that I didn’t do something...he just has to trust me and he doesn’t... So we fight and usually one of us ends up saying that we want to break up. That only lasts a couple days because we both really care about each other and the only thing we fight about is him accusing me of things and me blowing up. And when I say blowing up I mean literally I go crazy. I am not proud of this and am trying to work on my anger. But the weird thing is I only get mad like that at him, and when he is falsely accusing me of things.

Ok, so I haven’t even gotten to my problem yet... Well we had a fight when I was staying over there one night. He has to get up really early for work but I don’t so I’m not tired when he is, so I was texting a girl friend for awhile but turned my phone to silent so I wouldn’t wake him. I went to bed around 10 p.m. and said goodnight to my friend and that was the end of the conversation. So, in the morning he was being all weird and distant and made some comment about it being the last time I stay over. When I asked what he meant he told me that my phone was vibrating at 4 in the morning and someone must have been calling me. I told him no one did and that my phone was on silent but he didn’t believe me.

So I stormed out and went home and went back to bed thinking it would pass and by lunch time he would be over it. Well he wasn’t over it and said he heard what he heard and that I was lying to him. And since then, about a week now, he hasn’t called me back, just a text to say “its over, sorry”.

During this week I gave him like 2 days to cool down because in the past he usually comes to his senses and says he was sorry for accusing me and says he trusts me. So after that, I called and left messages, mean nasty ones and ones apologizing for the mean nasty ones... I even went to his house to try to talk to him, but he told me to leave before he called the cops.

I am so confused. Why won’t he tell me why he doesn’t want to be with me anymore? I mean, does he honestly not believe me about the phone and is going to ruin a great relationship over that? And I know it doesn’t sound like a great relationship, but other than this crap things are great. He makes me happy, he says I make him happy. My parents love him... etc...

I figured this was just a normal fight and that everything would get worked out but this time he is serious... I am a patient and loyal person and I really want this to work and I will do whatever it takes to help him get over his trust issues. But he isn’t even trying to get over them anymore...

He won't answer his phone when I call or respond to my texts... So is it over, should I just give up and move on. I am not the kind of person that gives up. So what do I do??? Please, any advice would be great and much appreciated.

Thank you!


The Answer Chick Says:

It was a great thing to do to give your boyfriend information on paranoid disorder, although it may have been a little beyond what he's suffering from. Obviously his previous relationship has had a lasting effect on him and it takes time to recover from such things. Three years certainly seems like it should be long enough but, depending on what he went through and what kind of person he is, it may not be. If you want things to work out you have to be patient with him and accept his reactions are going to be skewed until he works things out.

However, it's really encouraging that he recognises that he's over-reacting and that he's prepared to work through them. But he's going to need a lot of help and support from you and you'll need to work on yourself a little too.

Your anger can easily be interpreted by him as a defensive mechanism to divert the situation -- rather than responding angrily, you need to explain events to him calmly and rationaly. You also need to explain to him that, just like he has trust issues, you have blame issues. You both need to talk about your problems and try to understand how each others reactions can be interpreted by the other.

Both of you need to deal with your problems. Professional councelling could be appropriate here because, unfortunately, your issues exacerbate his problems and vice versa. Someone who can mediate would be a tremendous help.

Whatever happens, you have to both be honest and open with each other -- and try to see the situation through the other person's eyes.

Hopefully, the relationship isn't over. Give him some time to cool down and tell him you'd like the opportunity to apologize for blowing up on him and ask him if it would be ok to talk things over. If he doesn't respond or tells you he doesn't want to talk, then things are done and it's time to move on.

So hard for nice girls ...

Dear Mr Bitter Guy,

I was wondering why it is so hard for nice girls to get over a break up with a bad guy.you know the type of bf who cheats, never says sorry for anything, constantly degrades her.

I know you will ask, well why is she with him then. and i think that to a certain extent, most girls want to try to see themin their best light, and hope they can help bring out their best. eventually, with a lot of wounds and low self esteem we realize, we need to be with them if we can accept them now.. not hope we will find them acceptable later. Please just give your best break up advice.

I just broke up with my bf of 3 years. it was a very abusive relationshp, not physically but mentally. he went to strip clubs, dating sites, constant emails from other girls and i just found out hes been cheating. the shit bag wont admit it regardless or apologize.

I dont know why its so hard for me, but it is. I miss him alot and am very upset , but i dont think its sadness over losing him, just more of what time i wasted.

So far, what works is, making a list of the bs you endured, and keeping it handy every time you are ready to call him up. also-he claims i deserve it all, because i gained weight when we started dating and havent lost it. i admit i am over weight, and no longer attractive. but i just feel that if you love someone or so he claims, you would look past that. there is never an excuse to treat someone poorly,

i was just wondering, if a girl is ugly or overweight, but with a great personality.. if she does have hope in a guy being in love and staying true to her. as my ex claims, its impossible.

i think its bs, but i have been so naive about so many things, i no longer want to bs myself


Mr Bitter Guy Says:

Ugly, fat girls get laid all the time. And they have lasting relationships too. In fact many men prefer a cuddly cutie.

Do a Google search for "I love fat women" you get nearly ten times the results than "I love skinny women" -- astounding proof that 9/10 guys prefer a porky partner.

While the world tries to convince us that girls with toast-racks for ribs are super sexy, men are actually trying to find buffet-busting beauties!

So being fat is not neccessarily the same as being ugly. Queen Latifah is sexy and she ain't no bean-pole. Paris Hilton on the other hand is skinny, but she is not sexy. No, not at all. Not even slightly. Which says a lot because I'm a guy and anything with breasts I should find sexy. Put a pair of breasts on a chair and I'll want to hump it, but not Paris Hilton.

Fat doesn't mean ugly -- and skinny doesn't mean beautiful. But it does look like blonde still means stupid.


The Answer Chick Says:

Breaking up is always a difficult thing -- especially if you thought there was potential there that was never reached. You're always left wondering whether you could have done something different to have changed things -- and if you'd have done that thing, then maybe that fairy-tale ending would come true.

It seems you have your head screwed on right, though -- and seen the relationship for what it was. When we start out in a new relationship we all have high hopes for where it might go. And as we're getting to know the other person we start to realise there's more to them than the stranger we met. Sometimes the 'more' is good, but sometimes the 'more' is bad.

The trick to relationships is to enter them with an open mind. To dream of weddings and retirement on the first date is to assume you know the other person -- and obviously, when put like that, it seems ridiculous. Those dreams are not based on the other person, they're based on your own hopes and desires. You may well dream of a long marriage and a fun happy retirement with the person who you're dating, but until you know them, these dreams are just based on your own desires for your own future and have nothing to do with the person sitting opposite. Once you recognise that, you'll be able to see that some relationships just aren't supposed to be.

In your case, you started the relationship knowing what you wanted. You had the dream but you thought it was this man who was the cause of it. Over time you began to realise that for the dream to come true, he would have to be a different man so rather than ending the relationship, you hoped he would become a different man.

The 'dream' is no more than a set of things you want in your life. When you meet someone, you need to remember that they may or may not help you achieve this dream. In a meaningful relationship, the person you're with wants similar things and you naturally end up helping each other to your goals. If you need to force someone to change, then they're probably not the one for you.

You say you feel upset by the amount of time you wasted. This is a natural and common reaction for women who've been in abusive relationships. You likely feel betrayed because the guy you fell in love with tricked you into thinking he was different. This probably makes you feel a little stupid also. You feel incapable because you weren't able to change him and make him see the error of his ways. You'll be frustrated because all the effort you put into making the relationship and putting up with his actions were for nothing. I'm sure there's more as well, but the good news here is you're out of it and you can move on.

So move on to someone you don't need to change, someone you don't have to 'put up' with. And someone who can accept you for who you are. Relationships are supposed to be fun -- and if they're not, then there's something wrong.

Quantifiable proof that Brits are cleverer than Americans

Dear Mr Bitter Guy,

Hello

I am considering sending a myspace message to this guy I have liked for the past 6 months. The problem is he has a girlfriend now and it is pretty serious. I was not ready for a relationship and in a shy stage so I ignored his flirtatiousness. I would be happy with being distant friends at this point.

Thanks.

Mr Bitter Guy says:

So you're going to send a message to this guy saying what? "You got a girlfriend? You're not the loser I thought you were. I wanna ride your bony baloney pony," or "You're so sexy now you're unavailable ... let's go park the beef bus in Tuna Town '. ???

I wouldn't get your hopes up, although I'm sure he'd be up for a bit on the side -- so long as it's not too much effort and there's plenty of gratuitist sex. Maybe you could be 'the other woman' and he'd buy you a nice appartment in Manhatten where you could spend long weekends arguing about when he's going to 'ditch the bitch'.

There's also a chance he'd break up with his current girlfriend because you've got a cuter ass or whatever. But if he's that opportunistic, do you want to be with him?

So, the questions hidden in your rather ambiguous post are:
1) Do you want to be an ass?
2) Do you want to date a dude who would date an ass?
3) Do you want to date a dude who'd date an ass, whom is himself an ass?

That's a lot of asses -- much like on mySpace.

Search on mySpace: US dumb-asses = 945

Compared to UK dumb-arses = 2

Accounting for population differences, that would still only give us 10 forlock-tugging, tea-swilling British dullards.

That means Americans are 9,450% more likely to be a dumb-ass than a Brit!

Are you one of them?

My boyfriend is a tool

Dear Mr Bitter Guy,

It happened AGAIN. Obviously my mood swings or whatever the **** you describe them as have resulted in my boyfriend telling me to **** OFF and hang up the phone. He has a really short temper and it really pisses me off. Actually, I say pisses me off but it upsets me at first. I go through a chain of events starting with crying. While he sits at home and doesn’t give the slightest **** about what the **** I’m feeling.

It annoys me that he obviously doesn’t give that much of a **** to care about how he ****ing speaks to me. If I ever try to bring this subject up of how he talks to me, ill just get the old ‘have you finished whining yet’ or ‘grow up, they’re only words’ if they are ONLY words, don’t ****ing use them when you are speaking to me.

So evidently I call him back, and he again hangs up, I think I did it to about the third time before he said some **** like ‘if you ****ing ring back I swear’ and hung up. He doesn’t give a **** how I feel. I bet after he hangs up he should feel quite pleased with himself, or just don’t care at all. I mean he never called me all night, to try and make things better. I didn’t call him because he didn’t want me to. And why the hell should I if he ****ing talks to me like that.

I always do nice things for him; he stays at my house all the time. For example the other day I saw that the gel he buys has an offer on, so I bought him some. He would never do anything nice like this. He never ever complements me or makes me feel like he really wants me. I just want him to look and see what he’s doing to me. No ****ing wonder I moan about **** all, he treats his friends that are girls better than me. He would never tell anyone of them to **** off. I’m that pathetic that I’m sat here crying about a guy.

I love him with all my heart, he just hardly ever shows it and I just really want him to change so badly or else I don’t know what I’m going to do. My life is so messed up some times and he just makes it a lot harder for me. I just hate the way he speaks to me, why can’t he just be like a normal boyfriend. If I was a guy I would never be like that with a girl. But he doesn’t care that he hurts me, and If he sees me crying or thinks im upset he will just say to grow up and walk away.

But I always ponder to him and call him back cos’ I don’t want him to be mad and me, I don’t like anyone being mad at me. I just don’t know what the hell to do. It helps typing it all out to see what the problem is. It looks like he treats me like one of his guy friends that he can sleep with sometimes. He can be the nicest person ever, and that’s the person I fell in love with. But he has changed so much and I really can’t handle it without breaking out into tears.

You make think im a sad person to hope for him to change, but I don’t think it will happen because he wont listen. If he even came across one of my diaries he would probably laugh and say the problem lies with me. I moan a lot and used to be a jealous bitch. But I think it’s based down to the fact of not receiving the attention I crave from him. There is no point me hoping he will call. Because he won’t. I feel ugly and as if he wants something more, from someone more.

Please I hope to god that this doesn’t last much longer, because soon im going to run out of tears…What should I do?

Mr Bitter Guy Says:

This guy is a total tool. You fell in love with this false front he puts on to hide his toolness, and as you've got to know him better, his toolness has started to show more and more until you've ended up here. He hasn't changed -- you've just gotten to see more of him. And he's more tool than cool.

He isn't treating you like a friend at all -- not even like one his guy friends. He's being an ass. He's venting his anger and frustrations on you because he can, and because there are no long-lasting repercussions. Once he's vented his frustrations on you, he's over it; and doesn't want to deal with the short-term fallout (such as you being upset) because he's already blown his wad and that's all that matters to him. I bet he's the type of guy who doesn't care whether you orgasm when you have sex. He'll do it again and again because he knows you'll just run back to him.

Will he change? No. Not unless the root of his problems/insecurities are addressed. Those problems have nothing to do with you.

There's a version of a Tibetan tale about a frog crossing a river on the back of a tiger. It goes like this:

A frog was trying to cross a river but it had too strong a current and every time he tried to cross he got swept further downstream. After trying many times, he crawled back up onto the river bank and saw a tiger standing in front of him. The frog was scared but had nowhere to go other than toward the tiger.

"What are you doing?" growled the tiger to the frog.

The frog, cowering, said "I'm trying to cross the river, mighty Tiger"

The tiger said, "I'm going to cross the river to hunt on the far side. Why don't you jump on my back and I'll take you across"

"You'll just eat me" replied the frog, not trusting the tiger.

"No I wont -- there's not enough meat on you for me" purred the tiger

"But you're a tiger -- of course you'll eat me. It's in your nature to eat me."

The tiger replied "I promise I wont eat you. Besides, frogs don't taste good."

This went on for some time, but eventually the tiger managed to convince the frog that he'd come to no harm. The little green fellow jumped onto the back of the tiger and they both lept into the river.

The current was strong but not as strong as the tiger and soon they were half-way across the raging torrent. Suddenly the tiger flipped the frog high into the air and caught him in his mouth and started to eat him.

As he was being devoured, the frog screamed at the tiger "Why are you eating me? You promised you wouldn't"

The tiger replied "I can't help it. I am what I am. I'm a tiger and I eat things. It's my nature."

And that's where the story ends ... implying that some things can't be changed, but that's not true. In this version, the story continues:

And so the tiger reached the other side of the bank, licking his lips. The frog didn't taste so bad after all. But after a few minutes, the tiger started to feel dizzy and weak, and he soon collapsed.

A fox, that had been looking for food by the river, stumbled upon him and asked "Why, mighty Tiger, are you lying at the side of this river when you should be
hunting?"

"I ate a frog and now I don't feel too good" gasped the tiger.

"You ate a frog!" laughed the fox, "don't you know they're poisonous?"

The tiger never ate another frog again.

NB. This story is a metaphor. Posioning people is wrong. Do not poison people, even to prove a point.

'Tis the season to break up with your boyfriend ...

We've been swamped with questions from ladies who want to ditch their good-for-nothing, loser boyfriends over the last week or so. Most of these ladies have found someone else and need a subtle way to break it to their current man.

Using the talents of our local design firm, we've again asked them to create something special to facilitate this often difficult task of breaking up. Send this eCard to dump him with style!

[CLICK ON IMAGE TO PLAY VIDEO IN NEW WINDOW]

My lesbian girlfriend cheated on me ... with a man!

Dear Mr. Bitter guy,

I am a female..though I don't know if that matters.. anyway, I'm 18, and I've been dating my girlfriend for.. 3 months.

She has told me, just yesterday, that she cheated on me with a guy. and..I don't know what to do. She said it was up to me.

Some people say, since we're both girls, if it was a guy it shouldn't matter..but I don't know. A cheater ..is a cheater right?

She told me she has been cheated on, before this ever happened.

Is..this just one screw up..or do you think she'll do it again? should I break up with her? I don't know what to do...

Mr Bitter Guy says:

I've travelled to many places over the years and driven on both sides of the road. In Britain they still insist on driving on the left. But whichever side of the road you drive on you still get from A to B and a car-crash is a car-crash. Interestingly, a recent survey shows that gay men and straight women are the worst drivers, suggesting that lesbians are super-safe motorists. Gay men, however, have a crap sense of direction and are voted most likely to not get from point A to point B

No matter your gender or orientatiation, driving in these countries is very different. We have 'right turn on red' in the US -- possibly our greatest contribution to civilisation. If you were to do that in Britain, their cops in their silly hats would arrest you and take you down to the station for a nice cup of tea. Conversely, here in the US we don't have pedestrian crossings named after animals such as pelicans and zebras. Neither zebras nor pelicans exist in Britain and as such have no need to cross the road. However hedgehogs do exist in Britain and they also have their very own designated crossings.

While some things are different depending on which side of the road you drive, the general rules apply in all countries, except France. In France you have to be 18 to get a driving license and, apparently, that's the only requirement.

If zebras did exist and there was a dead one in the middle of the road with an American, a Brit and a Frenchman standing around it with car keys in hand, who would you suspect of running it over? More importantly, what would your reaction be to the mammal-murderer?

If it was the American, he would say "Why's there a huge barcode in the middle of the road?". Ignorance and stupidty are his defense and he can be educated to see the errors of his ways. You may very well be able to train an American, much like scientists train monkeys, to not do it again.

And the Brit; he would say "It's not my fault, it should have been on a designated zebra crossing". Don't be fooled by his foppish hair and poor oral hygiene. He will use his air of superior intellect to cast blame away from himself and onto others. You may or may not be able to convince him he's in the wrong. Is it worth all your time and effort trying to convince someone from a culture that invents crossings for animals that don't exist, that despite the zebra existing and it not being on its' designated crossing there was still no need to run it over?

The Frenchie: he would say "Who cares ... tastes good with garlic and wine, oui". Statistically, more zebras are killed by French speakers than English speakers. This is because the French empire colonised the majority of Africa, the zebras' native land, a few years ago. This proves that Frenchie will go out of his way to hunt down fresh zebra with little or no regard for others You will never convince Frenchie he's wrong so long as there's a skillet with melted butter simmering somewhere in the world.

The fact is zebras do exist, and no matter how good they taste it's never right to run them over.

Should I keep seeing this AMAZING guy?

Dear Mr Bitter Guy,

Basically, I've been kind of 'dating' a guy since October. As in I met him in September, but with school, work, and extracurriculars I wasn't able to start going on dates with him until October.

I knew there was something special about him when I met him just by the way he approached me. Although he might have been another guy after my body, he didn't make it obvious. He has always been the perfect gentleman.

So we've been hanging out a lot, especially since the end of October. I'd say we see each other at least 3-4 times a week, if not almost everyday. This is with us both working & going to school pretty much full-time. He is also quick to take me out to eat, to the movies, or just send a text or call to say hi. I must admit he is definately the most amazing guy I've ever met in my lifetime. I'm talking I didn't think these types of guys existed. Only in the movies & fairytales. For instance, I major in Movie Production and early on I had talked about getting editing software so I can work at home. For christmas he bought me an expensive video editing software package. See... AMAZING!!!

Everything's great right. So what's the problem.
1. I got out of a sucky relationship in May, and I don't know if I just think he's so amazing because of the previous dud.
2. He just got out of a 5 1/2 year relationship in April. Mind you he's only 22(as am I).
3. He is from a different state, and only down here for college.
4. We are both seniors, he graduates in July, me in August. After which he is leaving the state.
5. I asked him about our situation & obviously he doesn't want to jump into a relationship because he just got out of one.

So my question... Should I hang around and just cherish what I have with him now? Or should I cut my losses now to save myself from certain heartbreak later on?

Might seem like an easy enough question, but it is super hard. I know I will never meet someone as genuine as him. He is the nicest guy I've ever met. On top of that. Just the time we are spending together now makes me feel so happy, and appreciated. I'd swear on his worst day he's better then most guys on their best. And whatever this relationship thing is we got going is better then any actual boyfriend relationship I've ever had.

Just looking for advice. Thanks in advance.

Mr Bitter Guy says:

Oscar Wilde put this best: "In the world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. "

But on a brighter note, someone else said "regret for things you have done is strong but pales in comparision into regret for the things left undone."

The upshot is that it's all gonna end in tears, but you may as well have fun in the meantime.

What questions should I ask a guy on a first date?

Dear Mr Bitter Guy,

i went to a NewYear party and i met a guy there and he asked me out on a date and i dont know him that well. what should i ask him to get to know him better. thnaks

Mr Bitter Guy Says,

There are two burning questions you'll want to ask him: "What kind of guy are you?" and "Are you any good in bed?"

Of course no man can reply to these questions honestly as we're programmed to give the answer that's most likely to result in us getting head.

To find out what kind of person he is, ask:
"Do you prefer Coke or Pepsi?"

In the US, the main differences between these two drinks are Pepsi has a slightly higher citrus content and is a little sweeter than Coke, which is also more carbonated. In blind studies, MRI scans suggest that Pepsi stimulates the taste centers of the brain more than Coke but when the subject knows which beverage they're consuming, Coke stimulates the 'fun' centers of the brain more than Pepsi.

Pepsi man doesn't seek out fun and excitement. He is logical and not swayed by other's opinions. Pepsi man is highly emotional and enjoys gentleness and sweetness. His favorite woman is his mom and he listens to Kenny Chesney thinking that he's not only "so now" but that he's also 'hard rock'. Pepsi man cries at movies.

Coke man seeks the thrill of stimulation. While he knows right from wrong, the ethical implications of an experience are unimportant to Coke man so long as the event is wild and fun. Coke man's favorite woman is the one he can't get into bed. He will listen to anything that suits his agenda except emo (unless the girl he can't get into bed likes emo) and will never go to a movie that may make him cry (unless the girl he can't get into bed wants him to go)

To find out if he's any good in bed, ask:
"Who is better? Indiana Jones or Lara Croft?"

These two seekers of lost artifacts couldn't be more similar. Both have cunning and guile, are smart-asses and have issues with their fathers. The biggest difference between these two characters is their acceptance of their own respective sexualities. Indy is a homophobe with repressed homosexual tendencies clearly shown by his fear of snakes and his constant use of the whip -- both phallic symbols, of which one he hates and one he loves. Lara on the other hand has large breasts.

Indy man is not sexually confident despite an outward machismo. He is unlikely to satisfy in bed unless he's thinking of Brian the Cashier from the 7-Eleven dressed in a pretty frock.

Lara man likes breasts.

Happy New Year! :)