Valentine's Day Gifts?

Dear Mr Bitter Guy,

I never really put my all into a relationship and never had that special feeling about a guy until i met my current boyfriend. I fell head over heels in love with him!

This will be our first valentines day together and my first "real valentine" I want it to be very special. I am a die hard romantic and love all that mushy stuff! i was thinking of sending a big teddybear with a box of chocolates and a balloon to his work on valentines day as part of his gift! Is that too corny?

i'm not sure how he'd react and i was jus looking for guys advice. also any additional advice about valentines day and presents would be appreciated!

Thank you!

Melissa

Mr Bitter Guy Says:

Mmmm. That'd be fun. I can only imagine his embarrassment when they arrive at work. All his collegues should have a blast ribbing him all day. As a guy though, I'd much rather get a CD or DVD or maybe a PS3 than a box of chocolates and a balloon. I mean, what am I gonna do with a teddybear anyway? I'd appreciate the sentiment for about 30 seconds before my friends started making fun ... and then I'd take it home and stuff it in a cupboard for the rest of eternity.

I'd want something I can play with. I'd handle the ridicule of the teddybear at work (it might even be something funny to talk about over dinner later) if there was something groovy to play with.

Boys need toys!

As for the rest of Valentine's Day, men are easy: A few beers, a nice meal, a good movie and a quick tumble are all winners.

The Answer Chick Says:

Aww, that's sweet. He's very lucky. I'm partly with Mr Bitter Guy though. How about something a bit personal to go with? Remember Valentine's day is about having fun. It's a special day to just think about your relationship and spend some good quality time together. It doesn't have to be serious nor commercialised, but it should reflect your own unique relationship.

Boyfriend's lack of drive frustrates girlfriend

Dear Mr Bitter Guy,

So I've beeen with my boyfriend for 8 months and he's beeeen amazing. But he's one of those guys that depends on his parents. We usuallly seee each other 4 or 5 days a weeeek and recently his parents toook his car away. So the only time I seee him now is the weeekend and now there even trying to take his weeekends away. I'm getttting so frustrated. I can't just seeem his once a weeek it hurts way tooo much. I've thought about this situation over and over and I have not came up with a solution. I'm at a dead end any advice?

Mr Bitter Guy Says:

Why'd they take his car away? He must have been a bad boy. I'd suggest you buy his car from his parents and then you can travel to him.

The Answer Chick Says:

I can see how this would be frustrating. Maybe you can find a way to travel to him during the week? If not I'd suggest that you ask him to talk to his parents. I'm assuming he had his car taken away as punishment for something, but if he explains that it's effecting his relationship with you, his parents may be able to come to some sort of compromise.

It sounds like you're both young, so remember one thing: if you want to be treated like an adult, you have to act like one. Be mature, reasonable and rational and hopefully his parents will do the same.

Comparative analysis shows that drinking beer raises your IQ

Dear Mr. Bitter Guy,

I have never done this before, I feel kind of stupid emailing a stranger with something that is so personal, but I am in need of some advice.

So I just tell you the problem yeah?

Well I was dating this guy for around 4 months, our relationship had always been challenging since he went to University in Preston which around about a 4 hour drive from where I live, but this only made are relationship stronger and made us realize that even though we were apart are feelings still remained the same.

In November he told me he loved me, I had never said these words to anyone else before so I took my time to say them back so when I did I really did mean them, so early December I told him that I really did love him, this made December a hard month to get through, but he came home and I got to see him again and everything was amazing, we were both swept off are feet seeing each other again and everything was pretty much perfect. We started talking about committing to each other and being in a real relationship but we still needed time.

So New Years eve he went to Bristol with his friends, I had nothing against this since I was out with my friends as well, but never the less I missed him and found that it was having a profound effect on my night, I kept thinking about him and it was really depressing me, so I decided to get so drunk I couldn’t think at all.

This was the first mistake, I got so drunk that when some guy started coming on to me, i had no mind or body strength to push them away, I ended up kissing him and then with everything i had left in me a ran into the girls toilets, i was so upset and heartbroken with what i had done i rang my guy and told him that i had kissed someone, the thing was he had just been bigging me up to all his friends saying how amazing i was and how much he loved me, so not only did i hurt him i embarrassed him in front of his best friends. I tried to tell him i was sorry but my phone battery ran out, when i got home in the morning i had one txt off him saying “i loved you”.

New Year’s Day i told him what had happened but it didn’t change the way he felt, i wrecked him and i could only blame myself and he could only blame me. I did everything i could to try and get him back, did the romantic thing of running all the way to see him waiting in the freezing cold for him but all i got back was a “I don’t trust you”.

So he went back to university and he sent me an email saying that he wanted to hate me but couldn’t he wants to be on his own right now and wants to just be friends for now with me. I found being his friend hard. I had so many feeling for him, speaking to him as a friend hurt.

So a week ago he sent me a txt saying he missed me, and that i was beautiful and he sent a video of two people making up, so this gave me the impression he wanted me back but in the week then he was totally blank with me and awkward. This hurt me so much, i feel like I’m hanging on to something which might have already let me go. So i told him how i felt and he said that he does still have feelings for me but the last memory he has of me was kissing someone and t blurred out all the good memories so he doesn’t want to make me wait for him he told me i should move on, and this is my problem, i can’t let go of him, i can’t move on, but i can’t be his friend and wait around either

What should I do?

Mr Bitter Guy Says:

Ah. The old "I got drunk routine". People use that excuse for so many things:" I got drunk and cheated", "I got drunk and said some stupid things", "I got drunk, burnt your house down, slept with your wife and drowned your cat. Ooops."

Really people, getting drunk is not an excuse. William Burroughs once said "drugs don't make you do anything that you wouldn't normally do, they just help you on the way", to paraphrase. And that's something coming from him. (If you don't know who Burroughs is he makes the music industry look like kindergarten as far as drug use is concerned. The man was a walking pin-cushion).

From a medical paper: Generally small amounts of alcohol produce lowered inhibitions, feelings of relaxation, more self confidence, diminished judgement, reduced attention span, and slight incoordination.

Nowhere does it mention drinking makes you stupid. It diminishes your judgement, yes, but 'diminishes' doesn't mean your moral or ethical decision making functions are completely left by the wayside.

In fact drinking makes you more intelligent.

Below are countries listed in order of their alcohol consuption

Highest alcohol consumption per capita
Alcohol Consumption Rank	Country	Average National IQ
1	Luxembourg	101
2	Hungary	99
3	Ireland	93
4	Czeck Republic	97
5	Germany	102
6	France	98
7	Portugal	95
8	Spain	99
9	Britain	100
10	Denmark	98
AVERAGE IQ		98
Lowest alcohol consumption per capita
Alcohol Consumption Rank	Country	Average National IQ
23	Sweden	101
24	Chile	93
25	Venezuela	88
26	South Africa	72
27	Thailand	91
28	Brazil	87
29	Colombia	88
30	China	100
31	Taiwan	104
32	Mexico	87
AVERAGE IQ		91

We can clearly see that the countries that consume more alcohol have a higher average IQ -- proof that drinking makes you clever.

You have no excuse!


The Answer Chick Says:

It seems you've learnt your lesson. It's just a shame you had to learn it the way you did. Your boyfriend is going through a lot at the moment and will be very confused. From his point of view he was betrayed by the most important person in his life. It'll take a while for him to understand why and to find a way to deal with it.

The pair of you seemed like you were on the right track to a good solid relationship. It appears that you both care for each other a lot and it would be a shame if this one moment of stupidity would spoil everything. Unfortunately, it may be the case that this one action may well be the end of everything.

If you seriously want to reconcile things with him, you have to understand that what you did was wrong and accept responsibility for your actions. That means you have to win back his trust -- and that will be a long and hard road to travel, but no longer or harder than what he's going through.

When he told you to 'move on' I'd guess that that's his insecurity speaking. It sounds like he wants to be with you, but he's not sure whether you want to be with him. And obviously he's going to find it difficult to trust you.

So this is a bit of a test for you. If you want things to work out, then you have to pass this test. If you want to be with him, then you'll have to prove it to him -- and that'll mean doing things to make him trust in you and to believe in you again. And that may mean doing things you don't want to do.

I'm not saying you have to wait forever, or do things that you are vehemently opposed to -- but reasonable requests from him should be responded to. He needs to know you are his friend, that you do love him and that you want to be with him. And that you're prepared to put out the effort tomake sure it happens. And that New Year was a horrid mistake that you'll never repeat.

You need to rebuild your relationship from the ground up. Take it slowly and understand it from his point of view.

It'll take time, but it can be resolved.

Creepy boyfriend?

Dear Mr. Bitter Guy,

First of all thank you for taking your time to look ovr my problem.

ok my boyfriend and I just started to date. it's been about 2 weeks. well.... I just feel like he does not really like me all that much...when other creepy guys hit on me in campus I tell him about it and he does not show much of reaction other than," I am sorry that happened to you." I know that he's busy at work but he rarely text me back if not nothing at all.

I don't know what to think about it. am I being too much of princess or does he even like me at all??

Mr Bitter Guy Says:

Ha! ... 'When other creepy guys ...". OTHER creepy guys? You're saying your new boyfriend is a creepy guy? No wonder he doesn't text you back!

The Answer Chick Says:

Ignore Mr Bitter Guy. Give it time. You say it's only been two weeks and yet you're expecting him to be at your beck and call whenever you see fit. Ease up on him and allow him to express himself as he wants. You'll end up in a much stronger and rewarding relationship if you do.

Are overweight females attractive?

Dear Mr Bitter Guy,

I am overweight- so i work hard on making sure i wear nice clothes- and ALWAYS do my hair and makeup before going out- I really do think I have a great personality- I know it is my weight that makes guys not attracted to me- and as hard as i try to exercise- and diet- i just feel like i need to find someone and be happy how i am right now- how do I do that as an overweight female?

Mr Bitter Guy Says:

Finding someone is easy. Finding the 'right' someone is the tricky thing.

It's like telesales. Everyone hates those people who phone you up in the middle of your favorite show trying to sell you new windows,but look at it from their point of view:

These people are hated by everyone, have to pitch their product to people who don't want to know and they're under pressure to make their sales quotas. They just don't give up.

But cold-calling must work or companies wouldn't do it.

The average telephone-marketeer will call 100 people before they'll even talk to someone who's vaguely interested. Out of those interested people, it'll take ten of them to find only one who's actually considering buying whatever product is being offered. And out of those, only one in three will actually purchase.

So to find 1 paying customer, 3,000 people need to be called.

So start phoning random men.

The Answer Chick says:

It seems that you're doing all the right things, and it's refreshing to see someone who's making the effort. It's unfortunate that overweight people get a bad rap in today's society, but it's still a sad fact of life that people who are overweight often get treated as second-class citizens -- especially by the opposite sex.

Presenting yourself well and making an effort to live healthily will get you to where you want to be. But it's a long road and sometimes it's difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Just keep on keeping on.

This doesn't, of course, help you with your current situation. I know Mr Bitter Guy has a bit of an odd skew on things, but at the core of things he's right. You may find it more difficult to find a partner being overweight but it's not by any means impossible and should only be a small factor in the scheme of things. Self confidence is the real key. Sexy people are people who believe they're sexy -- not neccessarily the ones graced with a perfect body or a perfect face.

So just believe in yourself and go out and meet people so you can find that special man.