What questions should I ask a guy on a first date?

Dear Mr Bitter Guy,

i went to a NewYear party and i met a guy there and he asked me out on a date and i dont know him that well. what should i ask him to get to know him better. thnaks

Mr Bitter Guy Says,

There are two burning questions you'll want to ask him: "What kind of guy are you?" and "Are you any good in bed?"

Of course no man can reply to these questions honestly as we're programmed to give the answer that's most likely to result in us getting head.

To find out what kind of person he is, ask:
"Do you prefer Coke or Pepsi?"

In the US, the main differences between these two drinks are Pepsi has a slightly higher citrus content and is a little sweeter than Coke, which is also more carbonated. In blind studies, MRI scans suggest that Pepsi stimulates the taste centers of the brain more than Coke but when the subject knows which beverage they're consuming, Coke stimulates the 'fun' centers of the brain more than Pepsi.

Pepsi man doesn't seek out fun and excitement. He is logical and not swayed by other's opinions. Pepsi man is highly emotional and enjoys gentleness and sweetness. His favorite woman is his mom and he listens to Kenny Chesney thinking that he's not only "so now" but that he's also 'hard rock'. Pepsi man cries at movies.

Coke man seeks the thrill of stimulation. While he knows right from wrong, the ethical implications of an experience are unimportant to Coke man so long as the event is wild and fun. Coke man's favorite woman is the one he can't get into bed. He will listen to anything that suits his agenda except emo (unless the girl he can't get into bed likes emo) and will never go to a movie that may make him cry (unless the girl he can't get into bed wants him to go)

To find out if he's any good in bed, ask:
"Who is better? Indiana Jones or Lara Croft?"

These two seekers of lost artifacts couldn't be more similar. Both have cunning and guile, are smart-asses and have issues with their fathers. The biggest difference between these two characters is their acceptance of their own respective sexualities. Indy is a homophobe with repressed homosexual tendencies clearly shown by his fear of snakes and his constant use of the whip -- both phallic symbols, of which one he hates and one he loves. Lara on the other hand has large breasts.

Indy man is not sexually confident despite an outward machismo. He is unlikely to satisfy in bed unless he's thinking of Brian the Cashier from the 7-Eleven dressed in a pretty frock.

Lara man likes breasts.

Happy New Year! :)