Milking the moose not resposible for Mr Bendy

Dear Mr Bitter Guy,

I'm 25 & have been masturbating nearly every day since I was about 10, now I look like a bannana.

How long should it take for using the other hand to correct this ?

Mr Bitter Guy Says ...

Presumably you're talking about the shape of your penis and not about your over-all demeanor.

If you're referring to the shape of Mr Percy, contrary to urban legend, beating the bishop does not cause penile curvature whether you're in the northern or southern hemisphere.

However, if you are indeed turning yellow and you're permanently hunched over, you have jaundice and need medical attention. Jaundice is rarely associated with basting your ham and no amount of left-handed ladling will cure it