How to swear appropriately

Dear Mr Bitter Guy,

I'm a 23 year old guy from Tulsa. I work in a car salsroom as a salesman and I'm usually ok at it. I could be better though. My problem is I've got a potty mouth and cuss sometimes while I'm pitching my customers. The worst was when I told this guy he really needed to "buy the ******* chrysler because its a ******* *****" and he'd be a ****-**** if he didn't buy it.

He told my manager who tore me a new one. This is my 3rd warning. If I get another he's going to fire me. I swear most when I get excited. I cant control my language.

This is ruining my job. Any ideas?

Mr Bitter Guy says ...

Bad language has its place. It can be used for comedic effect, as an emphasis or as an utterance of shock.

However, for best effect bad language should be used sparingly and never over the dinner table. In polite society, swearing ettiquette is the same as wearing brown shoes and is regarded by many as being distasteful except in rare cicumstances i.e only when dressed casually in light or neutral polyester trousers and only before 6 p.m.

However, you may be suffering from Tourette's Syndrome. Here's a simple test:

Look at the following two pictures. One should illicit a cuss-response, one shouldn't. If both pictures make you swear then you've got Tourettes and need professional help.

Hope this helps.