Husband caught with pants down ...

Dear Mr Bitter Guy,

I was going to work as usual but my car stalled about ten minutes away from my house. I couldn't get it restarted so I called my boss, told him I'd be late and walked home to call a mechanic. When I got home I found my husband and my neighbor making out on our couch. My neighbor is a 23 year old guy and my husband is 56.

We've been neighbours for 3 years and get on really well. He's such a nice young man, but I never suspected my husband was having an affair with him.

When I walked in on them, our neighbor looked shocked, as did my husband. He tried all the usual things like telling me it wasn't what it looked like, that he was just messing around, that it didn't mean anything.

I was shocked and upset. I didn't say a word. I just walked out and went to my best friend's house to calm down. When I returned home, my husband was in tears. He told me he'd been seeing our neighbor almost since he'd moved in and that they'd been sexually involved for almost two years. He told me he isn't gay, but later admitted that he's had 'feelings' for men since his late twenties.

He says he still loves me and that he is sexually attracted to me and I believe him. He says he'll end his affair with our neighbor and he really does seem upset. He says he's never had an affair before in our 20 years of marriage and that he wont do it again. But he cheated on me and it hurts. I know I can't give him what a man can give him but that doesn't make it right. I'm not sure I can trust him again and I feel insecure about myself, like I'm not enough for him and never have been. I feel like I've wasted 20 years of my life living a lie and I don't know what to do.

Mr Bitter Guy says ...

This is indeed a problem. Take a look at the idle control valve. You'll find it on the side of the throttle body which is connected to the air pipe from the air filter and the engine.

Unbolt that, take off the motor half and spray carb cleaner into the mechanical half. Once it's dried, put it all back together.

Oil and carbon deposits will likely have built up in the breather pipes so you'll want to clean them too.

Start your car and see if it runs without stalling. Hopefully this will do the trick. Nobody likes being late for work.