My lesbian girlfriend cheated on me ... with a man!

Dear Mr. Bitter guy,

I am a female..though I don't know if that matters.. anyway, I'm 18, and I've been dating my girlfriend for.. 3 months.

She has told me, just yesterday, that she cheated on me with a guy. and..I don't know what to do. She said it was up to me.

Some people say, since we're both girls, if it was a guy it shouldn't matter..but I don't know. A cheater ..is a cheater right?

She told me she has been cheated on, before this ever happened.

Is..this just one screw up..or do you think she'll do it again? should I break up with her? I don't know what to do...

Mr Bitter Guy says:

I've travelled to many places over the years and driven on both sides of the road. In Britain they still insist on driving on the left. But whichever side of the road you drive on you still get from A to B and a car-crash is a car-crash. Interestingly, a recent survey shows that gay men and straight women are the worst drivers, suggesting that lesbians are super-safe motorists. Gay men, however, have a crap sense of direction and are voted most likely to not get from point A to point B

No matter your gender or orientatiation, driving in these countries is very different. We have 'right turn on red' in the US -- possibly our greatest contribution to civilisation. If you were to do that in Britain, their cops in their silly hats would arrest you and take you down to the station for a nice cup of tea. Conversely, here in the US we don't have pedestrian crossings named after animals such as pelicans and zebras. Neither zebras nor pelicans exist in Britain and as such have no need to cross the road. However hedgehogs do exist in Britain and they also have their very own designated crossings.

While some things are different depending on which side of the road you drive, the general rules apply in all countries, except France. In France you have to be 18 to get a driving license and, apparently, that's the only requirement.

If zebras did exist and there was a dead one in the middle of the road with an American, a Brit and a Frenchman standing around it with car keys in hand, who would you suspect of running it over? More importantly, what would your reaction be to the mammal-murderer?

If it was the American, he would say "Why's there a huge barcode in the middle of the road?". Ignorance and stupidty are his defense and he can be educated to see the errors of his ways. You may very well be able to train an American, much like scientists train monkeys, to not do it again.

And the Brit; he would say "It's not my fault, it should have been on a designated zebra crossing". Don't be fooled by his foppish hair and poor oral hygiene. He will use his air of superior intellect to cast blame away from himself and onto others. You may or may not be able to convince him he's in the wrong. Is it worth all your time and effort trying to convince someone from a culture that invents crossings for animals that don't exist, that despite the zebra existing and it not being on its' designated crossing there was still no need to run it over?

The Frenchie: he would say "Who cares ... tastes good with garlic and wine, oui". Statistically, more zebras are killed by French speakers than English speakers. This is because the French empire colonised the majority of Africa, the zebras' native land, a few years ago. This proves that Frenchie will go out of his way to hunt down fresh zebra with little or no regard for others You will never convince Frenchie he's wrong so long as there's a skillet with melted butter simmering somewhere in the world.

The fact is zebras do exist, and no matter how good they taste it's never right to run them over.