Dear Mr Bitter Guy, I need dating advice ...
After and 8 year friendship my best friend and I crossed the line and started dating. He is a best thing that has ever happened to me. The problem is he has Huge Trust Issues and is a bitter and angry man.
During the holiday season - I was running short on time - so I called to tell him I was on my way up to see him. I got to his house - he didn't answer the phone. I called again. Instead of just knocking to see if he was okay I dropped off his present and left.
I was mad he didn't answer the phone and short on time.
When he asked me if I knocked I said yes - knowing I hadn't and he caught me in the lie.
For this - it has been 2 months and he doesn't want to talk to me or see me. He said he can't ever Trust me again.
I apologized both in written format and in person. I forced myself in to his home last week. He was nice but cold. When I left he said have a nice life and leave me alone
Is there any hope
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Started dating best friend -- but he's soo cold
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2 Dating Advice Tips:
hi.
unless he's seen sense in the last two days, here goes...
its clear that there's something bigger going on here. I was tempted just to call him a nutbar and move on, but thats no help, and i think his reaction isnt balanced or fair.
any rational person would have weighed up how busy you were, with whether it was thoughtless not to knock, how much they care about you, and what they want in the long run. you were busy, but you should have knocked. that said, it wasnt because you didnt care whether you saw him or not, it just dint occur to you at the time. basically it wasnt a huge mistake with trust implications for your entire relationship. he should have realised that he cares about you and that your continued friendship means more to him than you understanding you made that mistake.the fact is you do know it was a mistake, so something isnt right here. such a small mistake is not enough for him to jeopardize your 8 year relationship.
this event doesnt make someone this upset- he seems to using this to express his anger about something else. and its that something you have to find out and deal with. maybe it was very important to him that he saw you on that day at that time, or perhaps there was something he had to tell you.
either way, there is definitely something he isnt saying.
if he respects you and your years of friendship at all, he cant expect you to just sit back and let him end it for something so trivial without an explanation. you have every right to know what you did wrong, and to be honest, not knocking on his door is not it.
if he doesnt have a reason then he is prolonging your underserved guilt and pain uneccissarily, because he can, and he is the one in the wrong. in that case you must consider whether you want a relationship - or even a friendship - with someone who could be that proud and sadistic.
i hope he explains the real problem to you, and that you work it out. 8 years means you are meant to be in each other's lives, either as friends or as more.
get your head screwed on straight and don't even think about dating until it is. Your issues have issues.
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