DATING ADVICE FOR PEOPLE DATING NEEDING ADVICE


Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Is this a one night stand or the start of a terrible relationship?

Hi Mr Bitter Guy,

I really would appreciate your help with a relationship problem.

I met this really great guy at new year. We started chatting, danced for a bit, celebrated the new year and before long the night was over. Me and my housemate lived only two streets away and he offered to walk us home. He ended up staying over that night although we didnt sleep together (we both agreed that we liked each other too much for it to turn into a one night stand).

He bought me breakfast the next day (New Years Day) and we ended up spending the whole day together and going back to his where we did then have sex.

For the next month we saw each other about once a week - he would invite me to his, cook us some dinner, watch some movies etc(which always resulted in us having sex), we text each other every few days and it was going great.

The thing is he was off work during that month so he had time to see me. However since he's been back at work we've only seen each other once or twice. In fact its now been nearly three weeks since I last saw him and when i text him he sometimes doesnt get back to me for a week at a time.

I have text him saying that i feel like my times being wasted and giving him the chance to either explain or break things off - he just replied that work had been really busy and that he'd had hardly any time off work and asked how i was.

Whilst i acknowledge that he has a very demanding job (he's a policeman) and that his work hours are sometimes unsociable i feel really ignored.

I really really do like this guy very much and he is a genuinely lovely person - but now i wonder whether he's giving me the brush off or whether it is genuinly just his job getting in the way.

I guess i have two questions here;

1. Were we ever really any more than a prolonged one night stand?

2. Is he now giving me the brush off or is it just that he's tied up with work and therefore maybe i should cut him a bit of slack?

Im sorry to have rambled on here (i feel better for it) but i am very confused and really need some good advice. I know your not psychic but from the info above... what do you think?

Thanks for your time.

Confused xx

2 Dating Advice Tips:

Anonymous said...

If you can't handle being the other half of a uniform, don't pick the ones in uniform!

I will use the term PWU's (People With Uniforms) for policemen, paramedics, members of the armed forces, etc.
They usually have a dangerous, demanding, and high stress job to do. The last thing they NEED, is someone adding TO the stress by being a fair weather friend... IE they are so proud of being with a PWU but when it comes to putting up with prolonged absences, etc. they scream "YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!!" etc....

If you're really that into your PWU then take it SLOW and don't try to bludgeon your way into his line of sights 24/7. He may need time to decompress from the events of his shift. He may be tired. Etc. But, DO let him know you are thinking of him.

And one last thing, let him initiate some of the contact. Nothing is more sure to scare a PWU away than a demand that they talk to you 24/7.

Anonymous said...

Hey is he my boyfriend or one night stand,

This is a common situation that many people go through. I can only suggest that you sit down and talk with him. Guys are usually pretty up front about their intentions, so if you ask a direct question you'll usually get a direct answer. Ask him if he considers you his girl friend. Simple. If he thinks this of you, he'll say yes. If he says something like, well I think you are a great/sexy/nice girl or any other answer, then you were an extended booty call or probably more like friends with benifits.

Hope this helps :)