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Tuesday, December 4, 2007
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If you want to get advice from the Bitter Guy about a relationship, love-life or personal problem, just add your question as a comment to this post.
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Im a 21yr old African American overweight female. And I believe that my weight is the problem to everything. I can't find someone who will love me for me. I have a great personality which I've been told by many males but it never seems to go anywhere. I rarely dress very girly and im a home body. What should I do???
I'm 25 & have been masturbating nearly every day since I was about 10, now I look like a bannana.
How long should it take for using the other hand to correct this ?
I was talking to this guy for about 4 1/2 months, dating you could call it. We both fell in love fast, faster than I expected. It was understood that even though we weren't in a "relationship," we knew what we could and couldn't do. About 3 1/2 months into us "dating," I slept with someone else. The person I slept with was someone that I was just friends with, and that was it. Me and the person I was dating did not live in the same state. I am in college and he is back home. I told him what I did the next day it happend, he ended up getting drunk and got into a car accident and was in the hospital for a week over what I did. I wasn't drunk, I wasn't under the influence of any drug. I did it because we had been having problems for a while, I couldn't get him to open up to me, he wouldn't take my feelings and how I felt into consideration. So I was frustrated and slept with someone else. When I told, I told him because I was hurting and I couldn't believe that I did something like that. I felt bad and I knew I had made a mistake. It has been about a week now, and the only thing that I am asking from him is that he give me a second chance to prove to him that I meant it when I told him I loved him. I guess my question is to you is how do I get him to understand that what I did was a mistake and it won't ever happen again and what can I do to prove that to him?
Basically, I've been kind of ?dating? a guy since October. As in I met him in September, but with school, work, and extracurriculars I wasn't able to start going on dates with him until October.
I knew there was something special about him when I met him just by the way he approached me. Although he might have been another guy after my body, he didn't make it obvious. He has always been the perfect gentleman.
So we've been hanging out a lot, especially since the end of October. I'd say we see each other at least 3-4 times a week, if not almost everyday. This is with us both working & going to school pretty much full-time. He is also quick to take me out to eat, to the movies, or just send a text or call to say hi. I must admit he is definately the most amazing guy I've ever met in my lifetime. I'm talking I didn't think these types of guys existed. Only in the movies & fairytales. For instance, I major in Movie Production and early on I had talked about getting editing software so I can work at home. For christmas he bought me an expensive video editing software package. See... AMAZING!!!
Everything's great right. So what's the problem.
1. I got out of a sucky relationship in May, and I don't know if I just think he's so amazing because of the previous dud.
2. He just got out of a 5 1/2 year relationship in April. Mind you he's only 22(as am I).
3. He is from a different state, and only down here for college.
4. We are both seniors, he graduates in July, me in August. After which he is leaving the state.
5. I asked him about our situation & obviously he doesn't want to jump into a relationship because he just got out of one.
So my question... Should I hang around and just cherish what I have with him now? Or should I cut my losses now to save myself from certain heartbreak later on?
Might seem like an easy enough question, but it is super hard. I know I will never meet someone as genuine as him. He is the nicest guy I've ever met. On top of that. Just the time we are spending together now makes me feel so happy, and appreciated. I'd swear on his worst day he's better then most guys on their best. And whatever this relationship thing is we got going is better then any actual boyfriend relationship I've ever had.
Just looking for advice. Thanks in advance.
Dear mr. Bitter guy,
I am a female..though I don't know if that matters.. anyway, I'm 18, and I've been dating my girlfriend for.. 3 months.
She has told me, just yesterday, that she cheated on me with a guy. and..I don't know what to do. She said it was up to me.
Some people say, since we're both girls, if it was a guy it shouldn't matter..but I don't know. A cheater ..is a cheater right?
She told me she has been cheated on, before this ever happened. Is..this just one screw up..or do you think she'll do it again? should I break up with her? I don't know what to do...
It happened AGAIN. Obviously my mood swings or whatever the fuck you describe them as have resulted in my boyfriend telling me to FUCK OFF and hang up the phone. He has a really short temper and it really pisses me off. Actually, I say pisses me off but it upsets me at first. I go through a chain of events starting with crying. While he sits at home and doesn’t give the slightest shit about what the fuck I’m feeling. It annoys me that he obviously doesn’t give that much of a shit to care about how he fucking speaks to me. If I ever try to bring this subject up of how he talks to me, ill just get the old ‘have you finished whining yet’ or ‘grow up, they’re only words’ if they are ONLY words, don’t fucking use them when you are speaking to me. So evidently I call him back, and he again hangs up, I think I did it to about the third time before he said some shit like ‘if you fucking ring back I swear’ and hung up. He doesn’t give a shit how I feel. I bet after he hangs up he should feel quite pleased with himself, or just don’t care at all. I mean he never called me all night, to try and make things better. I didn’t call him because he didn’t want me to. And why the hell should I if he fucking talks to me like that. I always do nice things for him; he stays at my house all the time. For example the other day I saw that the gel he buys has an offer on, so I bought him some. He would never do anything nice like this. He never ever complements me or makes me feel like he really wants me. I just want him to look and see what he’s doing to me. No fucking wonder I moan about shit all, he treats his friends that are girls better than me. He would never tell anyone of them to fuck off. I’m that pathetic that I’m sat here crying about a guy. I love him with all my heart, he just hardly ever shows it and I just really want him to change so badly or else I don’t know what I’m going to do. My life is so messed up some times and he just makes it a lot harder for me. I just hate the way he speaks to me, why can’t he just be like a normal boyfriend. If I was a guy I would never be like that with a girl. But he doesn’t care that he hurts me, and If he sees me crying or thinks im upset he will just say to grow up and walk away. But I always ponder to him and call him back cos’ I don’t want him to be mad and me, I don’t like anyone being mad at me. I just don’t know what the hell to do. It helps typing it all out to see what the problem is. It looks like he treats me like one of his guy friends that he can sleep with sometimes. He can be the nicest person ever, and that’s the person I fell in love with. But he has changed so much and I really can’t handle it without breaking out into tears. You make think im a sad person to hope for him to change, but I don’t think it will happen because he wont listen. If he even came across one of my diaries he would probably laugh and say the problem lies with me. I moan a lot and used to be a jealous bitch. But I think it’s based down to the fact of not receiving the attention I crave from him. There is no point me hoping he will call. Because he won’t. I feel ugly and as if he wants something more, from someone more. Please I hope to god that this doesn’t last much longer, because soon im going to run out of tears…What should I do?
It happened AGAIN. Obviously my mood swings or whatever the fuck you describe them as have resulted in my boyfriend telling me to FUCK OFF and hang up the phone. He has a really short temper and it really pisses me off. Actually, I say pisses me off but it upsets me at first. I go through a chain of events starting with crying. While he sits at home and doesn’t give the slightest shit about what the fuck I’m feeling. It annoys me that he obviously doesn’t give that much of a shit to care about how he fucking speaks to me. If I ever try to bring this subject up of how he talks to me, ill just get the old ‘have you finished whining yet’ or ‘grow up, they’re only words’ if they are ONLY words, don’t fucking use them when you are speaking to me. So evidently I call him back, and he again hangs up, I think I did it to about the third time before he said some shit like ‘if you fucking ring back I swear’ and hung up. He doesn’t give a shit how I feel. I bet after he hangs up he should feel quite pleased with himself, or just don’t care at all. I mean he never called me all night, to try and make things better. I didn’t call him because he didn’t want me to. And why the hell should I if he fucking talks to me like that. I always do nice things for him; he stays at my house all the time. For example the other day I saw that the gel he buys has an offer on, so I bought him some. He would never do anything nice like this. He never ever complements me or makes me feel like he really wants me. I just want him to look and see what he’s doing to me. No fucking wonder I moan about shit all, he treats his friends that are girls better than me. He would never tell anyone of them to fuck off. I’m that pathetic that I’m sat here crying about a guy. I love him with all my heart, he just hardly ever shows it and I just really want him to change so badly or else I don’t know what I’m going to do. My life is so messed up some times and he just makes it a lot harder for me. I just hate the way he speaks to me, why can’t he just be like a normal boyfriend. If I was a guy I would never be like that with a girl. But he doesn’t care that he hurts me, and If he sees me crying or thinks im upset he will just say to grow up and walk away. But I always ponder to him and call him back cos’ I don’t want him to be mad and me, I don’t like anyone being mad at me. I just don’t know what the hell to do. It helps typing it all out to see what the problem is. It looks like he treats me like one of his guy friends that he can sleep with sometimes. He can be the nicest person ever, and that’s the person I fell in love with. But he has changed so much and I really can’t handle it without breaking out into tears. You make think im a sad person to hope for him to change, but I don’t think it will happen because he wont listen. If he even came across one of my diaries he would probably laugh and say the problem lies with me. I moan a lot and used to be a jealous bitch. But I think it’s based down to the fact of not receiving the attention I crave from him. There is no point me hoping he will call. Because he won’t. I feel ugly and as if he wants something more, from someone more. Please I hope to god that this doesn’t last much longer, because soon im going to run out of tears…What should I do?
I feel like when i was younger i was hotter, my body was more devloped and curvier and hott i used to have guys that swarmed around me and wanted my attention, now i feel unattractive and less confident ive been sick many times and lost most of the better things about my body and now i feel stuck in a relationship that i feel is holding me back from moving forward in my life. Please help me find the anwsers to fix my problem
Hello
I am considering sending a myspace message to this guy I have liked for the past 6 months. The problem is he has a girlfriend now and it is pretty serious. I was not ready for a relationship and in a shy stage so I ignored his flirtatiousness. I would be happy with being distant friends at this point.
Thanks.
Dear Bitter Guy,
I have a problem… I am 19 almost 20 and my boyfriend, well technically ex boyfriend is 26. We were together roughly a year now and we have defiantly had our share of ups and downs.
To start off, he is really paranoid and has crazy trust issues. He was hurt really bad in a previous relationship...that was like 3 years ago or something. So he doesn’t trust anyone including me. He goes through these like stages where he will be really great for a while and everything between us is fine to all the sudden saying that I did something or that something happened that didn’t.
Well, I went online and looked up paranoid disorder and all this stuff about trust issues and gave it to him, not sure if that was the best thing to do... But I mean I didn’t just throw it at him, I eased it.. So he looked at it and said that maybe he has some tendencies and would try and work on them.
Well, I’m not perfect either and have a bad habit of losing my temper when he accuses me of something I didn’t do. I cant prove that I didn’t do something...he just has to trust me and he doesn’t... So we fight and usually one of us ends up saying that we want to break up. That only lasts a couple days because we both really care about each other and the only thing we fight about is him accusing me of things and me blowing up. And when I say blowing up I mean literally I go crazy. I am not proud of this and am trying to work on my anger. But the weird thing is I only get mad like that at him, and when he is falsely accusing me of things.
Ok, so I haven’t even gotten to my problem yet... Well we had a fight when I was staying over there one night. He has to get up really early for work but I don’t so I’m not tired when he is, so I was texting a girl friend for awhile but turned my phone to silent so I wouldn’t wake him. I went to bed around 10 p.m. and said goodnight to my friend and that was the end of the conversation. So, in the morning he was being all weird and distant and made some comment about it being the last time I stay over. When I asked what he meant he told me that my phone was vibrating at 4 in the morning and someone must have been calling me. I told him no one did and that my phone was on silent but he didn’t believe me.
So I stormed out and went home and went back to bed thinking it would pass and by lunch time he would be over it. Well he wasn’t over it and said he heard what he heard and that I was lying to him. And since then, about a week now, he hasn’t called me back, just a text to say “its over, sorry”. During this week I gave him like 2 days to cool down because in the past he usually comes to his senses and says he was sorry for accusing me and says he trusts me. So after that, I called and left messages, mean nasty ones and ones apologizing for the mean nasty ones... I even went to his house to try to talk to him, but he told me to leave before he called the cops.
I am so confused. Why won’t he tell me why he doesn’t want to be with me anymore? I mean, does he honestly not believe me about the phone and is going to ruin a great relationship over that? And I know it doesn’t sound like a great relationship, but other than this crap things are great. He makes me happy, he says I make him happy. My parents love him... etc...
I figured this was just a normal fight and that everything would get worked out but this time he is serious... I am a patient and loyal person and I really want this to work and I will do whatever it takes to help him get over his trust issues. But he isn’t even trying to get over them anymore... He won't answer his phone when I call or respond to my texts... So is it over, should I just give up and move on. I am not the kind of person that gives up. So what do I do??? Please, any advice would be great and much appreciated.
Thank you!
dear Bitter Guy,
I was wondering why it is so hard for nice girls to get over a break up with a bad guy.
you know the type of bf who cheats, never says sorry for anything, constantly degrades her.
I know you will ask, well why is she with him then. and i think that to a certain extent, most girls want to try to see themin their best light, and hope they can help bring out their best. eventually, with a lot of wounds and low self esteem we realize, we need to be with them if we can accept them now.. not hope we will find them acceptable later.
Please just give your best break up advice.
I just broke up with my bf of 3 years. it was a very abusive relationshp, not physically but mentally. he went to strip clubs, dating sites, constant emails from other girls and i just found out hes been cheating. the shit bag wont admit it regardless or apologize.
I dont know why its so hard for me, but it is. I miss him alot and am very upset , but i dont think its sadness over losing him, just more of what time i wasted.
So far, what works is, making a list of the bs you endured, and keeping it handy every time you are ready to call him up.
also-he claims i deserve it all, because i gained weight when we started dating and havent lost it. i admit i am over weight, and no longer attractive. but i just feel that if you love someone or so he claims, you would look past that. there is never an excuse to treat someone poorly,
i was just wondering, if a girl is ugly or overweight, but with a great personality.. if she does have hope in a guy being in love and staying true to her. as my ex claims, its impossible.
i think its bs, but i have been so naive about so many things, i no longer want to bs myself
I am overweight- so i work hard on making sure i wear nice clothes- and ALWAYS do my hair and makeup before going out- I really do think I have a great personality- I know it is my weight that makes guys not attracted to me- and as hard as i try to exercise- and diet- i just feel like i need to find someone and be happy how i am right now- how do I do that as an overweight female?
Dear, Mr. Bitter Guy first of all thank you for taking your time to look ovr my problem. ok my boyfriend and I just started to date. it's been about 2 weeks. well.... I just feel like he does not really like me all that much...
when other creepy guys hit on me in campus I tell him about it and he does not show much of reaction other than," I am sorry that happened to you." I know that he's busy at work but he rarely text me back if not nothing at all.
I don't know what to think about it. am I being too much of princess or does he even like me at all??
I have never done this before, I feel kind of stupid emailing a stranger with something that is so personal, but I am in need of some advice.
So I just tell you the problem yeah?
Well I was dating this guy for around 4 months, our relationship had always been challenging since he went to University in Preston which around about a 4 hour drive from where I live, but this only made are relationship stronger and made us realize that even though we were apart are feelings still remained the same. In November he told me he loved me, I had never said these words to anyone else before so I took my time to say them back so when I did I really did mean them, so early December I told him that I really did love him, this made December a hard month to get through, but he came home and I got to see him again and everything was amazing, we were both swept off are feet seeing each other again and everything was pretty much perfect. We started talking about committing to each other and being in a real relationship but we still needed time. So New Years eve he went to Bristol with his friends, I had nothing against this since I was out with my friends as well, but never the less I missed him and found that it was having a profound effect on my night, I kept thinking about him and it was really depressing me, so I decided to get so drunk I couldn’t think at all. This was the first mistake, I got so drunk that when some guy started coming on to me, i had no mind or body strength to push them away, I ended up kissing him and then with everything i had left in me a ran into the girls toilets, i was so upset and heartbroken with what i had done i rang my guy and told him that i had kissed someone, the thing was he had just been bigging me up to all his friends saying how amazing i was and how much he loved me, so not only did i hurt him i embarrassed him in front of his best friends. I tried to tell him i was sorry but my phone battery ran out, when i got home in the morning i had one txt off him saying “i loved you”. New Year’s Day i told him what had happened but it didn’t change the way he felt, i wrecked him and i could only blame myself and he could only blame me. I did everything i could to try and get him back, did the romantic thing of running all the way to see him waiting in the freezing cold for him but all i got back was a “I don’t trust you”. So he went back to university and he sent me an email saying that he wanted to hate me but couldn’t he wants to be on his own right now and wants to just be friends for now with me. I found being his friend hard. I had so many feeling for him, speaking to him as a friend hurt. So a week ago he sent me a txt saying he missed me, and that i was beautiful and he sent a video of two people making up, so this gave me the impression he wanted me back but in the week then he was totally blank with me and awkward. This hurt me so much, i feel like I’m hanging on to something which might have already let me go. So i told him how i felt and he said that he does still have feelings for me but the last memory he has of me was kissing someone and t blurred out all the good memories so he doesn’t want to make me wait for him he told me i should move on, and this is my problem, i can’t let go of him, i can’t move on, but i can’t be his friend and wait around either
What should I do?
So I've beeen with my boyfriend for 8 months and he's beeeen amazing. But he's one of those guys that depends on his parents. We usuallly seee each other 4 or 5 days a weeeek and recently his parents toook his car away. So the only time I seee him now is the weeekend and now there even trying to take his weeekends away. I'm getttting so frustrated. I can't just seeem his once a weeek it hurts way tooo much. I've thought about this situation over and over and I have not came up with a solution. I'm at a dead end any advice?
I never really put my all into a relationship and never had that special feeling about a guy until i met my current boyfriend. I fell head over heels in love with him! This will be our first valentines day together and my first "real valentine" I want it to be very special. I am a die hard romantic and love all that mushy stuff! i was thinking of sending a big teddybear with a box of chocolates and a balloon to his work on valentines day as part of his gift! Is that too corny? i'm not sure how he'd react and i was jus looking for guys advice. also any additional advice about valentines day and presents would be appreciated! Thank you!
ok..well i made a BIG mistake with my boyfriend..i used to cut and its been over 9 months since i last did it..but i slipped up and did it a few weeks ago..i told my boyfriend because i didn't want to keep it from him..now i'm trying to get him to forgive me and it's been over 2 weeks..he's really poetic and has that whole romantic persona thing going on..i've already tried saying my feelings, it got him to ease up a little, but he's still mad..please please please help..
Hi there,
I first have to say thanks to replying to my past question so fast and actually posting it up. thanks so much!
i was just wondering what your thoughts are on, keeping your "eye" on your partner?
such as reading their emails, browsing through their phone calls, or even logging their chats?
with or without them knowing.
i know it is a trust issue and is very disrespectful to invade their privacy. however, if i had not done so in my past relationship i think i would never have known his extent of cheating and betrayal.
in my opinion, its good to trust who you love, in fact its crucial. but every now and then, you should check their mail, or log their chats for a week or two, just to ensure to yourself and them, that there is something worth trusting.
if you find out their loyal-great , you can breathe easy and love them more.
if you find out their disloyal, well its good you got to find out when you did, rather than continue on a few more years with this betrayal.
i was just wondering your views on this.
also, in the reverse situation, i would encourage my partner to check on me. if he felt suspicious i would be happy that he was satisfied that it was just him being silly, and that i am loyal. and if iwas starting to stray, id be hapy he caught me when he did, and i felt ashamed , and hopefully would rectify the situation , before it was too late.
just curious, if its possible for a bf to be going on dating sites, porn sites, or chats, for "fun" and have it be completely loyal still.
i would never think so, and in my past it led me to find his path of cheating.
but are their cases where its normal, and perfectly harmless.
i just feel like everyone needs some flirtation from a stranger once in a while to make them feel sexy. sometimse hearing it from your partner doesnt sound believable. but when you need to get intimacy with a stranger while you are dating someone, than you have a problem.
help- i met a sociopath.
he absolutely does not blink nor respond if i cry, get upset. he says he blocks out any situation that will arise emotion out of him. he says if he responds to emotion it will destroy him.
he has done this entire life, with his family, friends, career.
he strays from human affection by having meaningless flings.
for once he is in a relationship.. but will he ever be open to love and be loved?
or is he doomed, and so am i?
Dear Bitter Guy,
I'm in a 7+ Month long distance relationship and I seem to have this nagging feeling that he's just not that into me which is further pointed out by my girls.
Scenario A:
He said he was gonna be back in Feb but he never took the time to save for the flight and he tells me he wont be back and it made me feel slighted.
Scenario B:
He, by some fluke timing has his grandma who's sick beckon all the children back so he's now back for a week but we only saw each other once and he spends the rest of his time with his friends. He's got 2 more days until he leaves the country.
Scenario 3:
I text him and he never replies and we speak sporadically throughout the whole 7+ months.
Should I dump him and how? He's a lovely friend and I don't want to compromise any possible future platonic relationships with him. Although that may be wishful thinking.
Regards,
Slighted Female.
Hi Mr Bitter Guy,
I really would appreciate your help with a relationship problem.
I met this really great guy at new year. We started chatting, danced for a bit, celebrated the new year and before long the night was over. Me and my housemate lived only two streets away and he offered to walk us home.
He ended up staying over that night although we didnt sleep together (we both agreed that we liked each other too much for it to turn into a one night stand). He bought me breakfast the next day (New Years Day) and we ended up spending the whole day together and going back to his where we did then have sex.
For the next month we saw each other about once a week - he would invite me to his, cook us some dinner, watch some movies etc(which always resulted in us having sex), we text each other every few days and it was going great.
The thing is he was off work during that month so he had time to see me. However since he's been back at work we've only seen each other once or twice. In fact its now been nearly three weeks since I last saw him and when i text him he sometimes doesnt get back to me for a week at a time.
I have text him saying that i feel like my times being wasted and giving him the chance to either explain or break things off - he just replied that work had been really busy and that he'd had hardly any time off work and asked how i was.
Whilst i acknowledge that he has a very demanding job (he's a policeman) and that his work hours are sometimes unsociable i feel really ignored.
I really really do like this guy very much and he is a genuinely lovely person - but now i wonder whether he's giving me the brush off or whether it is genuinly just his job getting in the way.
I guess i have two questions here;
1. Were we ever really any more than a prolonged one night stand?
2. Is he now giving me the brush off or is it just that he's tied up with work and therefore maybe i should cut him a bit of slack?
Im sorry to have rambled on here (i feel better for it) but i am very confused and really need some good advice. I know your not psychic but from the info above... what do you think?
Thanks for your time.
Confused xx
I kissed this guy i know from school but had never spoken to before last thursday and saturday when out at a club. On thursday we kissed once in the club and then all the way home in the taxi (he lives near me and there were others in the car too). Then on saturday, he arrived late, i didnt no he was coming, and he saw me and came over to me and we started talking. Then from about 11 till 1:30 we were together kissing, talking and mucking around, like singing all the corny songs that came on. I knew he used to go out with a girl in my year but i heard they broke up at christmas.
After saturday night, i heard that they had gotten together after that and they only broke up the saturday before. Now his ex is soo angry at me and has spoken to me twice both times shouting at me. Im not a shy person but i am quite quiet and i wasnt preapred for this. She said she cant shout at him as she has vowed never to talk to him again and she is now saying that they didnt break up the saturday before we kissed, they broke up the saturday after, but i no that this isnt true as he called her his ex when talking about her on thursday. She has called me a slut and shouted fuch u to me so many times today. And the second time we talked she threatened me saying that if i ever talk to him she will break my legs and if i ever have a thing with him she will smash my face against a wall. I know it sounds so immature and she probably is all talk but its reli getting to me and i normally don't let these things bother me.
Everyone is on my side saying that i am not in the wrong and her friends are so angry with her and have been comforting me and i no ive technically done nothin wrong cos i thought they'd been broken up for months but her shouting at me like that has reli, as ive said, got to me and i dont no wat to do.
I havent been able to talk to the guy since saturday as i've been away but now im not sure if i will or not, i reli like him we got on so well and seeing as we were only kissing and he didnt try anything else i no he's not looking for sex like the majority of guys are, but still can someone please tell me what to do? Do i stand up to her? Because i could give her attitude back but im not sure i want to, so far ive just let her shout and then let her no i didnt realise how recently they've broken up but she just says im talkin shit and she doesnt believe me. And what do i do about him?
Please help, this is really upsetting me!
After and 8 year friendship my best friend and I crossed the line and started dating. He is a best thing that has ever happened to me. The problem is he has Huge Trust Issues and is a bitter and angry man.
During the holiday season - I was running short on time - so I called to tell him I was on my way up to see him. I got to his house - he didn't answer the phone. I called again. Instead of just knocking to see if he was okay I dropped off his present and left.
I was mad he didn't answer the phone and short on time.
When he asked me if I knocked I said yes - knowing I hadn't and he caught me in the lie.
For this - it has been 2 months and he doesn't want to talk to me or see me. He said he can't ever Trust me again.
I apologized both in written format and in person. I forced myself in to his home last week. He was nice but cold. When I left he said have a nice life and leave me alone
Is there any hope
Ok well ive been seeing this guy for 2 months and i really like him and he apparently really likes me but just this past saturday he went to a grade 11 party and got really drunk not to sure if he tryed to do anything with anoher girl but someone said that he tryed and i want to know what do i say to him like cause i want to know if he likes me as much as i like him? But i just dont know how to ask him plus i want to know if we are more than just seeing eachother like are we offically boyfriend girfriend yet? Please help me i need some advice im dieing here!!!
I started dating this guy who lives in a different country. We've been dating on and off as much as you can date when you both live in different countries. We had a 3 month break because I wanted someone that I could date in person and go out with, plus, my boyfriend and I had been fighting a lot at the time. After this break, I realized that I was still in love with him, so I broke up with this other guy to go back to my long-distance boyfriend. He really is great--he's sweet, smart, funny, he just isn't HERE! I know he has had bad experiences before with other previous girlfriends cheating and now he has me--i actually LEFT him for someone else. But i came back. He also thinks that one of the main reasons that I love him is because he's really attractive--which isn't true but he doesn't believe me. He knows that I love him, I've told him I love him--he just doesn't know if my reasons are true. He told me that he's waiting for me to say something to the extent of "special words" and then he can come and see me. But i don't know what these words are. And i realize that they must be pretty important, but honestly, i have no idea what to say. You can only say so many times that "it's not what's on the outside, it's what's on the inside that counts." (true but not the thing he's looking for.) He told me also that these words aren't a guarantee by any means, but they'll give him the confidence that he so desperately needs. He says, "How do I know that you aren't going to leave me for another hot guy?" I don't know...i just know i'm not going to. i love HIM! i guess what i'm asking is, is there really anything i CAN say? I'm not a guy...i don't really know what to say to rebuild someone's confidence, let alone, if that should even be my job. I'm with him and i know that it was a mistake to leave him the first time. I regret it. And i don't love him for his body/face. I've told him all the reasons that i love him and that isn't it either. Maybe you would know? i just really need help. I don't want to spend 10 years trying to get some guy to come over and meet me. But i don't want to give up either, you know? HELP!
Hi Mr. Bitter Guy,
I have a male friend who is 24 years old and i am 9 years younger than him.Whenever he comes to my house, he just fools around with me and jokes around. Often when he uses my computer when I'm using it, he wraps his arm around me, but it isn't something like a hug. And when I go to my bed for a lay, he would come too and just go on top of me. I cannot understand how he feels. Does he like me?
Dear Bitter Guy,
I am curious to know the average time a couple takes for sex, and how many positions they do, and which ones.
I guess I just want to ensure I am doing enough of what is in the norms.
Have met somone else but and afraid of current bf's reaction as he has shown violence in the past and extreme posessiveness, haven't been seeing each other long but am afraid and don't want the new guy hurt. What do I do?
Ok...here is my question! I live in Las Vegas and my girlfriend lives in Texas. What are your thoughts on calling during the day just to say hi and I miss you?? Shouldn't this be a natural thing to do for two people who are dating over a long distance?? Except for days when you are extremely busy but even then how much time does it take to pick up a cell phone?? Thanks!!!~Rob in Vegas!
im 22 and my bf is 28 we had a cyber affair for a year without meeting he agreed to it 1st then after we met he liked the way i look and etc but after sumtime he said he hates me for not meeting him then we settled that then he asked me for sex i m from an asian country and we do not have sex till marriage so i said no but now he hates me for it i think he is having a mental problem what shall i do?
I am a 19-year old, well- educated, attractive, ambitious female. I noticed that average, unattractive, low class men only notice or compliment me when I am dressed down or wear tight inexpensive clothes. When I dress casually, I receive more male attention. Men appear to be more relaxed around me when I do not appear perfect. One day my hair was disheveled, and I still received lots of male attention. Conversely, when I dress up elegantly and fashionably, men either ignore me, sneer at me, or avoid me. They stare at me in awe as if I am an alien or new species. Is something wrong with me? They don't even compliment me when I dress up. They just stare or frown at me. I ponder, “How can they look down upon me if I am presentable and confident?” Typically, the men who do this are extremely unattractive, poor, and uneducated. For instance, once I had to take the bus. I looked really beautiful and fashionable that day. Some one even asked if I were a model. However, none of the men would sit by me. They just stared at me and walked by. I do not want to sound pompous. But why do you think this happens? How would you feel average men scoffed at you, even though you looked your absolute best? I can come off as unapproachable. I public, I typical have a stern facial expression and rigid posture. I have a strong presence and I walk with great confidence and force. But does this matter if you look nice? Are men insecure?
I am a high school senior now. I have been with my boyfriend for almost three years. I really like him but he seems to always get mad or upset about something. He always complains about how he hates his life. I can't tell if I still love him or not. I care about him but I don't know if the spark is still there. I also feel obligated to the relationship because of the puppy we share and because all my stuff is at his place and I am too afraid of awkwardness to get it. I just would like some opinions on my situation.
How can I convince my girlfriend to think she's pretty?
I have no idea what to do when my boyfriend gets angry at me. I would apologize and say sorry! but other than that I would be dumbfounded and wouldnt know what else to do, and that makes him even angrier and we would end up all being very upset.. this happens everytime he gets angry or sad, and i would just wallow in self pity because I don't know how to help him! What can I do to humour him when he is upset and make him happy again???
Ok, well long story as short as possible....
My bf and I have been dating for 2 months... he is BY FAR the most amazing man I have ever met and yeah yeah I know its always good in the beginning.....
Well he had a son that passed away in a horrible accident 2 years ago. So his son bday was August 28th and his sons death was Sep 30th when he was only 2 so I am sure you can see that this month and a half or so is really really hard for him and VERY stressful.
He is a really kind laid back guy and he has been VERY stressed and very depressed recently. We had a talk the other night that he said he cannot handle a serious relationship right now....reluctantly I said fine I will go home and he BEGGED me to stay and please just "bear with him" through this hard time he is going through. He said he still wants to hang out and go on as normal.... he says i am the only one who really understands what he is going through (bc I myself have delt with and am dealing with severe anxiety). Hes so confused right now, he feels like not having that "Label" will take off stress of him worrying about making me happy all the time on top of everything else he is dealing with.
He is starting therapy and probably medication when he goes to the therapist next Monday. So he is taking steps to make this time of year not so hard.....
So my question is, am I stupid to wait and help him and be there for him during this time as a friend and once things get better we can pick it back up? He states that he just is in no state of mind to give me what i need but he knows how lucky he is.... I made him promise if i did this that there is no dating other people bc i wouldnt be able to handle that.... and he promised me and said thats not what this is about...he just wants us to be able to have a healthy relationship....
I just came in his life at a bad time.....
I love this man... he is amazing... but would you wait???? (im not talking years, just a few weeks to a month too see if he is getting better) I would hate to leave him in this time of need.... I just dont know....
i started talking to this guy that iv known for a while last summer and at first it was going really well.. he was the one calling all the time until about a month through he started getting distant.. it felt like he only called me when he wanted to do stuff with me. this went on for about a year where he only called me once or twice every two weeks. until this summer. we went on a small trip with some friends about 2 months ago and since then he has been calling me every night just to talk. the thing is around march i asked him if he saw me as being anything more then a friend and he said that he had just got out of a three year relationship and wasnt ready. but now that he has completely changed and is actually showing more interest i dont know if i should bring it up again. the thing is, part of me still feels like he doesnt want to be exclusive and im afraid to know. what should i do? Should I bring it up? Or just let it be for now?
Embaressing question but so be it. I was a virgin til i met my bf. When i mean virgin i mean never diong anything before that except kissing.
When we mess around, i am into him, but i am never "wet enough" to completely enjoy sex. It is usually slightly painful. and if i am wet at the beginning, it won't last for more than 10 minutes.
is this normal? am i abnormal or maybe not into him enough?
also he never ever ejaculates when messing around. only if he masterbates.
is he normal? is he into me?
I usually have sex with my bf for about 15-30 minutes. sometimes longer. We usually stop bc i get tired or become too dry.
He gets very annoyed and makes me feel like every girl lasts alot longer.
what is normal here? also we both never ever climax with eachother, and usually have to do it to ourselves.
i might add, we are not dating anymore. this is a past ex and just curious on norms. I was in a pretty messed up relationship with him, and i wonder if that aids to the rocky road.
Dear Mr. Bitter Guy,
I have been with my current boyfriend for 4 months; which really isn't a lot. I think I love him; but I don't quite know. My longest relationship was 4 years long and he cheated on me, it was hard to move on. But I have liked my current boyfriend for 4 years, and he just upsets me so much. He's very jealous of any guy I hang with or hug. He starts fights over stupid things; even about things that aren't true. He questions me about how much I love him. He upsets me beyond compare. On top of all of that; there is this other guy that is insanely in love with me (or claims to be). But I haven't a clue what to do. I've never been put in a situation that I had to choose. I really like him, he is such a great friend, and amazing. And my current boyfriend utterly hates him and is super jealous of him. I've been told ever so many times that my boyfriend and I fight so much that we act like brother and sister. I don't feel that same spark I used to when he was around. Any advice on a decision; because I'm an utterly indecisive person.
So I've been hanging out with this chick and I like her, how do I get a relationship started with her? I'm friends with her roommate and I go over there to hang out with her. Well anyways, I'm really interested in her, how do I approach this?
I've been dating a girl for 3 and something months, and its been patchy. We've been on and off arguing the entire time. Somtimes we'll go two days without it, we even went a month once. But recently if we're not physically together, we're arguing.
Anyway, I'm really not that happy with us anymore. When we're together its great, but when we're not its just terrible. We both have some jealousy issues and it just feels like theres no more trust. I don't want to break up with her, but somethings gotta change, I feel like I'm stuck.
Either way it goes, I can't win. We continue the relationship it'll probably just continue to be rocky and depressing at times; if I end it she'll cry and complain to all of her friends saying God knows what, who'll spread rumors and drama of their own and send my reputation down the crapper.
What do I do?
OK i have been on and off with my boyfriend for a year. during this time he lied and cheated and had other girls and slept around I was with other people in the times when he had another girlfriend. He cheated on his most recent girlfriend with me lets just say we were very rocky.. and its been nothing but drama for us. but just recently like 1 month we have gotten back together. and are officially together. and things were amazing until i messed up. He is overseas for a year. everyone at home tells me im dumb for waiting and everything well I had a one night stand. I know it will NEVER happen again and I know how he is and he will not forgive me. I regret it so much and have been crying for days. Should I tell him?
Or should i just let it go and see how things are when he gets home...? the thing is i worry a lot and i'm afraid its gonna come out later. he has lied to my face why can't I lie?
by the way he didn't tell me about his cheating. he was just dumb about it.
My question is the following, I was dating this bi girl, after a while she broke up with me because her ex came back and she defined herself as a lesbian. She tells me that she loves me and that I am the perfect guy for her if she wasnt a lesbian...So my question is what are the chances of her coming back to me? Is it smart for me to wait for her? What should I do from now on?
(I love her more than anything in the world)
Here's the back story, I met this guy on an online dating service, I won't mention which one but it's based on true compatibility. We we're matched based on our compatibility and he initiated communication. We exchanged a few emails, chatted via instant messenger, where we really hit it off and decided to have a phone call. On the phone, we continued to hit it off and talked for a couple of hours. We arranged a brief meeting for a night later that week at a bar which we ended up moving up sooner in the week due to his work schedule is very unpredictable. In his line of work he works odd, inconsistent hours that change every day.
When we met on Thursday, the attraction was undeniable. We saw photos beforehand so we had an idea the but face-to-face mutual chemistry was off the charts. He walked me home and called me when he got home. Over the next week or so, everyday he initiated txts in the morning that would lead to texting marathons all day. He also called me every night. I think we were both excited by the intense chemistry and attraction. Keep in mind, we are both very attractive, picky and have found it difficult to meet people we felt that kind of connection with so it's not like we were naive or desperate. He was very expressive about his sexual attraction for me and how much he wanted to kiss me and how much I turned him on. Of course I felt it was really early for him to be so overly expressive about his sexual feelings towards me, historically I get turned off my guys like this. But, it was ok with him for some reason and we even had phone sex. Twice. He told me he was going to kiss me as soon as he saw me the next time. I suggested that we don't get physical on our 2nd meeting because I wanted to slow it down and didn't want it to be all about sex. Even though it was probably too late for that.
A week and a half later, his work schedule permitted a 2nd meeting during the day that we squeezed in before he went to work. Went to his condo and we hung out with some heavy flirting and light groping. It seemed like he was going to kiss me, and I wanted him to, but then he stopped and told me he didn't want to kiss because it would get too hot and he didn't want to start something that would have to end in an hour. Everything about our courting and interaction was not my usual MO but I just kind of went with the flow because it was fun and exciting. After I left, he texted me how much he enjoyed my company and how turned on he was by me. He came over later that same night because his work got canceled. Still he wouldn't kiss me and when I tried to he dodged me and explained he wanted to take it slow. He continued his explanation by telling me he was now switching to night shifts so we probably won't be able to have our usual nightly phone calls. Uh huh. Everything about this scenario from day one was new to me. The way we met, the phone sex and now the mixed signals, the rejection of my kiss and the story about his work was clearly a brush off. I told myself I'd see how it goes the next few days. The next day (which was this past Sunday) we exchanged a few texts that I initiated. Monday he texted me first. I asked him when his night shift was starting and he said end of the week. As a joke, I textd back "well it was nice knowing you" and followed it with a "just kidding". Tuesday nothing all day, I finally texted that evening which led to several texts that ended because he was going to bed early. He made a sexual comment which I replied with "here we go again".
So it's friday now, basically the texting, the phone calls, the momentum came to a halt. Clearly if he wanted to, he can make time for me, as he did before, regardless of his work schedule. So I find it hard to believe we lost momentum do to his work schedule. He and I are pretty straight forward people and I could accept him telling me he doesn't see it working out. I'd rather him tell me than give me the cold shoulder. I have my idea of whats going on but I wanted to hear it from your perspective. I'm thinking I should just leave it alone and not initiate communication anymore. But I also want to hear it from him if somethings up. The obvious reason here seems that he's moving on because he thinks maybe he won't be getting laid, but that contradicts with him dodging my kiss. Maybe he realized something about me that he didn't like. That is fine and totally acceptable, I just think he should be clear with me about it. Is his lack of initiation to communicate his way of being clear with me? What do you think? Thanks!
I want to get rid of my girlfriend. She is a real psycho and gets angry on very small things. I am not happy with her and we never have sex. She gives me warning of suicide to blackmail me. What should I do? Please tell me.
This seems kind of tough to explain in a condense way. There's a guy and we've been talking for almost a year now. We've talked constantly pretty much everyday, we've flirted, hung out, and he knows that I like him. In January he had to leave for 6 months, but he'll be back where I am in 2 weeks. While he's been gone we've emailed each other a whole bunch and I'll talk to him online. When he gets online he IM's immediately before I even have a chance to. We've made plans for when he gets back and still flirt with each other. Over this past year we've pretty much talked about anything and everything. The problem is that I don't know for sure if he likes me, sometimes it comes across like he definitely does and other times he seems distant. I know that he probably isn't having the best time where he is right now, so that could be part of the problem and I also know that I could be reading into things. Does it seem like there is potential for more than just friends here, he has said some really sweet things to me and you don't think I am wasting time with this right?
Dear Mr. Bitter,
I'm bitter too! So I watched the show called Tool Academy on VH1, and I immediately went online to enroll my "boyfriend." But unfortunately, you need to be 21 to sign up so I came here for advice
If my tool had a title it would be "Stoner Tool". His priorities go in this order: 1.Himself 2.His stoner friends 3.Weed 4.Partying 5.Family 6.Me. I'm not asking to be number one all the time (family comes first) but come on.. He can go anywhere from almost a month to a week without making an effort to talk to me. After dating for over a year, I consider this unacceptable. The first 6 months of our relationship were great, but then he started smoking weed again and everything changed. He would give up EVERYTHING for weed! He says things like, "I don't love weed, it's just been my business for so long," or "Weed isn't a thing you do, it's a lifestyle," "You'd be a better person if you smoked," and all sorts of other B.S.
He says he loves me but usually that's only after being intimate. Which brings us to my next point. We NEVERRRRR go anywhere other than his house. I complain about it all the time and he gets all pissy and says "Fine, okay just drop it!" I really wanna hang out with him and his friends or go do something other than hang out in his house but it's like he wants to hide me from the rest of the world! And he gets sooo jealous of other guys, but when I get upset that I find a picture of him and his shirt off while holding some girl (which he lies and says is from over a year ago), he says I'm "trippin'".
So to sum it up, he doesn't care anymore. I've let the disrespect slide so many times that it's become the only way he treats me. Well not the ONLY way, but it's enough that it makes me really unhappy.
Is this fixable? How? Because I really am in love with him. If not, how can I get over him? And what should I say to make him fully understand..?
Sincerely,
Last Hope
Dear Mr. Bitter Guy,
I need some bitter sweet advice..
I'm a young woman, (5'6, about 165) and used to be in shape but with all the stress in my life i can't seem to loose weight or feel healthy or satisfied with my body anymore, although i do exercise and keep fairly good eating habits. This really came into play when I began seeing my current boyfriend about 6months ago. He's about 5'7 155lbs with AMAZING 6pack abs, tan skin, and arms the size of melons.. With no hesitation do I say, he looks like a Calvin Cline model..lol (kinda funny but true)MY PROBLEM IS... I think our SEX life isn't branching out to other adventurous, exciting techniques because I'm too ashamed of how I look naked compaired to him. With previous partners I had always been spontanious and I want to be able to show him that other side of me and much more. But I'm afraid to say anything to him about my discomfort because meaningfully pointing out my flaws and weakness is in NO way attractive. Espcially when it has to do with our sex life.. What should I do?
Dear Bitter Guy,
We've been together for 6 months now-long distance. What we have is mostly a great emotional connection. For physical stuff, we do phone and video sex(i dont know if that really counts as physical).
I love him, we're great together but sometimes it just gets hard. I want it to work. I try really hard to be faithful to him. But yesterday I went clubbing with a friend and ended up cheating with this friend. He basically kissed me a lot, and I kissed him back, there was also some touching. I had been drinking and my guard was down because i had no idea this friend was interested in me. I'm not blaming what I did on the alcohol. I drank a lot but God knows I could have stopped it. today, i confessed what happened (well, part of it) to my boyfriend. I told him we just kissed a bit and I blamed it on the alcohol. He says he's not mad cos he understands that I was drunk, but I know he's hurt. I had to tell him because he gets extremely mad when I lie/ keep stuff from him. And I didnt want him getting mad. I love him, a lot. I want his trust back. My friend is also now intersted in me, and I am attracted to him. We have fun together, but I can't risk cheating on my boyfriend again- He'd kill me. Not literally but you know what I mean. I want him to see me as his angel again and i dont wanna cheat :(. Please help, I dnt wanna fal into the once a cheater, always a cheater category.
I need some help please! I went to a sensual massage therapist and feel in love with her at first sight. Well after a few months, we starting dating and we fell head over heels in love. Well, after 3 months of dating, I told her I was having a hard time dealing with her job and she agreed and quit, which was a big relief and we started planning our marriage and our future. I had a great job and was able to take care of her financially. Well, I recently lost my job but I am sure I will be back to work soon however, she decided to go back to giving massages. She promises she is not doing anything but the "Happy Ending" (which breaks my heart) but I have to either deal with it or lose her. I find myself looking at her ad on Backpage and just put it in the back of my mind and I am dealing with it so far, but I am scared. Am I a fool, after all, I knew what she was doing before I started dating her, and I know she loves me. REALLY, what should I do?
Please, any advice will be helpful because I am lost!
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